Does my boyfriend love me?

19 Comments

We were together for 9 months and he never said I love you. I eventually said it first to him and he replied with “love you too” in almost a mumbled way. He has said I would still love you if you lost an arm (we were doing those stupid hypotheticals) but apart from that he has never (it’s been 3 months since I’ve said it/he said it back) said it on his own. He’s never said “i love you” without me saying it first. I would have thought that he didn’t say it first out of nerves etc but after me saying it first I felt like he would begin saying it but I was wrong. I feel a bit hurt and also feel like he may have just said I love you too in that moment cos he would have felt awkward not saying it back/didn’t want to upset me. On the whole, he’s not a super expressive person (has his moments where he says I’m beautiful etc but on the whole not expressive) so should I just accept that he loves me but doesn’t say the words OR do I think that he only said it out of courtesy and that he doesn’t really feel it.

He just said it back because its the easy option 8
Yes, he's just not expressive 15
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Comments ( 19 )
  • Lestat565
    4 years ago

    Words don’t matter only actions do. I can tell any jackass that I love them and it means nothing. What are his actions that’s all you should care about.

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  • leggs91200
    4 years ago

    I bet when he hears the song ""lost in love" by air supply, he thinks about you.
    Yes, it is a love song. A really sappy love song.

    80's children will know how sappy Air Supply was.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    Only he and god know that.

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    • princessandtheproblem
      4 years ago

      ahhhh i wish i could read minds ahahah

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  • princessandtheproblem
    4 years ago

    thanks Ray Ree! thats the thing, he always says i love you too if i said it, but never just says it on his own..

    litlelander: his family is A LOT colder than mine (i come from a big warm family who yells at each other if we have issues but were always free to express anything (love/annoyance whatever) but his family like you could never say if something was bothering you so that could contribute to it.

    idk im just a person that needs to be shown love and affection, i know not everyone is like that but its what i need...im so confused cos apart from this he is a loving and caring bf

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  • Ray_ree
    4 years ago

    Ok I'm going to say three things here
    1. You really can't tell if you love someone if you're with them for only nine months. He probably doesn't say "I love you" back because he doesn't know if he loves you. When in relationships if you feel like you love the person you both should take things at a pace you both are comfortable with. Empty I love you's can destroy relationships; he just needs time for him to figure out what he is feeling.
    2. Yes, it could just be that he isn't very expressive, if this bothers you it's best for the both of you to talk to each other about it.
    3. Saying he loves you could make him uncomfortable. For some people it's just like that, whether they were in a relationship that didn't work out before or maybe it ties in with their family life growing up they will almost always be that way. It doesn't matter anyways; saying that he loves you doesn't mean anything. Love gets shown in many ways like when he covers you up when you've fallen asleep or just that little smile he has on his face when he's looking your way. Small things like that can be the biggest signs of how someone feels about you.

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  • megadriver
    4 years ago

    Some 90s children too XD

    I like a good sappy 80s love song.
    I can get lost in a daydream of being on a yacht with my girlfriend, sunset in the background, a few candles for mood lighting, getting lost in her eyes.

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  • chuy
    4 years ago

    Dump his ass and get a new BF.

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  • Unknown_player
    4 years ago

    Hes probably just shy, but its best to talk about these kinds of things with your partner before it can become a bigger problem like miscommunication

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  • princessandtheproblem
    4 years ago

    Thanks everyone for your advice 💕

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    How does he treat you aside from the lack of verbal reinforcement? Also I think it's time for you to have a serious talk with him.

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  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago

    Sorry, hun, but if he loved you he would say so. Ask him directly just to make sure hes not just intimidated to say it, then move on to a guy who cares.

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    How does he treat you aside from the lack of verbal reinforcement?

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  • SKDM007
    4 years ago

    he only wants the girlfriend status

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  • SwickDinging
    4 years ago

    Just ask him. If you don't believe his answer then do some soul searching to figure out why that is.

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    • princessandtheproblem
      4 years ago

      like he says he does but idk i just dont fully believe it..he just doesnt seem IN love with me..like i 100% knows he cares about me and treats me so well but its the small things like i never catch him looking at me, he never talks about a future with me, never asks me how i feel about him (almost like he doesnt even care)... i dont know, something just feels off and they say to follow your intuition??

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      • RoseIsabella
        4 years ago

        Ask him about that stuff.

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      • SwickDinging
        4 years ago

        Say everything that you've said here to him. The questions that you're afraid to hear the answer to are the most important ones to ask.

        If he's not as into it as you need him to be then you want to find out asap so that you can move on with your life.

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  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    I'm curious as to the differences' of y'alls upbringing.

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