Does he hate me?

I’m a teenage girl and I’ve never once been told by a guy that he likes me. And every time (three over the course of years) I told a guy I liked him he ended up completely ghosting me...even his friends would avoid me. So, I’ve kind of decided that I’m just not what Guys look for. And that’s fine, I just do my own thing.
My theatre director has a grandson my age, and I’ve been in a few plays with him when we were kids. But Other than that, I don’t really know him. Anyways, I’ve been seeing him around more because he’s helping with the stage lights/sounds. He a really nice guy, but I think I might’ve done something to make him hate me? Which is weird because I barely talk to him. But when I do, he doesn’t talk for long before he starts to get nervous. Like maybe he’s too afraid to tell me I offended him somehow. He’s not mean to me, he jokes around with me whenever we do talk, but whenever I walk by he picks up the nearest thing to act as if he’s working. So as not to interact with me maybe?

I don’t know what I did to make him want to avoid me like that, maybe I did nothing and I’m overthinking? He only does when I come around so that’s why I think it’s something I’ve done.

I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me, which is fine, like I said. I’m just hoping that he doesn’t hate me. :/

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Comments ( 12 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Cheesey but very true. I am often repulsed by photos of "hot guys" that my friend's show me from their work. We all have different tastes, so even if you aren't conventionally attractive don't write yourself off. There will be people out there who are into you.

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  • Do you have any female friends that you can talk to and they might have a better insight of what's going on? Or can help you understand?

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  • Have you tried asking him? He might be into you. If he hated you it’s not likely that he would talk or joke with you. You should just ask him if he’s mad at you.

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  • There is a key for every lock out there. Just keep looking you will find someone.

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  • Nobody here sees what's actually going on with the guy and all we have to work on are your perceptions, so it's impossible for anyone here to make a definite call.

    However, is it possible that the behaviour you describe might mean the exact opposite of what you think? Could it be that actually he likes you, and the nervousness you see is due to him being worried about saying the wrong thing, or maybe wanting to say something to you but being afraid to? Lots of guys get tongue-tied around women they really like.

    Just because three guys have behaved like dicks when you said you liked them, that doesn't mean no guy could possibly like you. There are approximately three and a half billion guys in the world who haven't yet had the opportunity to form an opinion about you. It's a safe bet that quite a few of them would find many things to like about you.

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    • Yep. He likes her. That was what I was going to say anyway.

      This happens to me a lot and the best way to deal with him is to say hi, smile and have at least one easy question for him. If you like him and want him to open up, go slow :)

      Best of luck.

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      • So a bit of an update, I didn’t get to ask him outright if he had a problem with me. But we lost one of the covers for the facemasks and I know I helped him last time. So I asked if he wanted some help and he said “sure if you want to.”
        So I did, and he didn’t seem to mind me asking “should we look here,” and “did you check?”
        I’m pretty sure I overthought this situation like a lot of others. I’m not gonna outright and assume that he likes me. But I don’t think he hates me.

        But I didn’t notice, he looks at me a lot, but looks away if I look back at him?

        Anyways, I can keep you guys updated if you want?

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      • Thanks for the encouragement! I’ll try to get to know him better.

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    • You’re probably right, I shouldn’t let previous actions taint my future outlook. I guess I’m too hard on myself at times.
      I appreciate your answer! And I didn’t actually think about him possibly liking me. I guess I just don’t know the signs? I’ll see him tomorrow and try to have a conversation with him, you know, try to ask if I’ve done anything wrong.

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  • And i’m not that other poster, I literally just joined today.

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