Do most people have to choose between passion or security?

After having tried both now I must say unfortunately that the obvious choice is passion. I dont care if its not stable. I thought since I am a rather shy calm person and such I would go with security when offered a person whos boring but calm to be around, but no. I have been seeing such a person for a long while now and I have never been so unhappy. I feel completely empty, unattractive and like I have given up on life.
Hes nice but a manbaby who cant form his own opinions, needs reassurance and doesnt have much of a personality. He recently asked me if I want to be his girlfriend or not and of course, I dont. I have started to miss even my most chaotic flings because at least they offered emotion. They may have at times caused unhappiness but at least it was due to feeling passionately about somebody, rather than indifference and boredom. I have commitment issues and even avoid intimacy as a result of that so I thought dating someone calm would fix me but it has rather made me completely fear commitment in a way I never did before because if it has to be that empty and dull it feels like a death sentence and I would much rather be alone even though one is "supposed to" have a significant other... There is some hope and that is if I find passion again with somebody, if so i'll jump in head first this time and really try to make it work this time. I dont know if passion and instant chemistry can work out longterm but I would be willing to risk it not lasting. Feeling indifferent and empty with somebody is the worst thing ive ever experienced. Is that what people choose to have security? I feel one might as well pass away if im honest... It has truly felt like not being alive. Do relationships just suck in general?

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