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You're a controversy-free celebrity with effectively unlimited money and time to do whatever you want. However, every time you meet someone you'd like to be friends with or who you're attracted to, you have an 8% chance of shitting yourself in their presence
that's a no from me then. i'd 100% get too intoxicated one night, say some controversial shit, deal with the public reaction terribly and then have to live my life no longer famous but still at a constant risk of shitting myself in front of an attractive woman. the nipple one was a better deal.
It would probably depend on what I'm eating.
I think you're just looking for an excuse to talk about diarrhea, but diarrhea is no joke. Let me tell you there are few things equal to the experience of dealing with a chronically constipated elderly person who has taken too many stimulant laxatives behind your back.