Dating without wanting to

I have always wanted a relationship but I no longer do. I've started dating again though so I won't be too old when I meet a compatible partner since I want to take things slowly.
It's so boring to pretend to care about strangers boring lives until maybe finding someone it's nice to talk to.

Is It Normal?
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  • Instead of dating just to date (or even just to have sex); why not find an activity group doing things you like to do and go to the group activities and have fun.

    Way less boring, and fewer chances of certain issues with dating coming up.

    Also, you might actually meet someone you are interested in and life will be far from boring.

    Hint: this method of meeting a SO is more effective than dating apps. However, most people in these activity groups are not looking for a SO to date, and you can just have fun enjoying some activity together.

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  • Then don't. How bout that?

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    • As I have stated before on here; in the UK and certain parts of Europe having a boyfriend is a legal requirement for straight and bisexual women and homosexual men. Within a month of their 18th birthday they are required to fill out a form of their preferences and their first boyfriend will be delivered to their door by a courier who will shout, “You’ve got male!”

      If they break up replacement partners will be sent until they reach legal state pension age.

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    • Exactly 👍

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  • Sounds like me except it's not dates, its friendships. XD

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  • I don't actively date but can relate to that. I also worry sometimes I may get too old without finding a partner, and actually want it at that point. But I also can go weeks or months without really having much if any emotional interest in a relationship or sex for that sake. Other times I can feel like I really want it and I'm worried I never find a romantic partner and cannot fully tell yourself that outcome is okay (although it probably will be in the long run).

    But maybe that temporary lowered interest sometimes is good, as that lets you see if you like someone sincerely. If you do not like someone during periods where you're not "desperate" then you probably dont like them enough overall and things would not last if you got with them.

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    • I will be 52 this year, and I could care less whether, or not I have a partner at this time. I guess I figure what is the point?

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      • Most of my single friends are the same. They're perfectly happy by themselves and, if anything, are probably so used to being alone by this age that they don't have the energy to start compromising for a partner. They're not used to having to do that.

        My husband and I are very happy but honestly, if he left me tomorrow, I don't think I could be bothered looking for someone else. Relationships are a lot of effort and sacrifice and I don't think most people are worth it.

        My advice to my daughters is to be very selfish. Focus on themselves, their education, their career, building great friendships. If you meet a partner along the way then great, but don't settle for something just to avoid being alone.

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      • The point is people crave certain aspects of a relationship like intimacy sometimes. And maybe having a relationship, when it is a good one is a fulfilling experience that you somehow miss out on if you never had it. I think it doesn't matter when you dont miss it on an emotional level. If I have low interest all the time, then there genuinely is no point. But the problem is when that interest or lack of is not stable over time, and sometimes even hard to define exactly what aspect you miss.

        Anyway I'm glad to hear you dont necessarily miss it when you get older and maybe dont have the option to get it anymore.

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        • I mean I could probably come up with a list of lovely things I might miss, but I try not to think too much about it, and when I think of a relationship now I mostly think of being inconvenienced, annoyed and having to compromise myself in order to deal with another person's bullshit... it's not a fair trade, and it doesn't seem to be worth it.

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          • Have you ever felt the desire to have a partner on just a pure emotional level? Maybe even while realizing logically it may not be worth it or probably overrated? I also imagine mostly problems in a relationship, but I have felt that (dont do at the moment, but think it may come back someday).

            Its whether I'm gonna emotionally feel like something is missing without that matters. And emotions dont always adjust to your logic. But you're right logically, and either way being with the wrong person for you will never be worth it.

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            • If it's purely emotional then it's probably just a very dear friend is all. What I really enjoy is living alone with just my cat. The plan now is to move in with my parents who are in their 80s for obvious reasons.

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  • I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Although, why do you date when you don't want to?

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  • Why do something you don’t really want to do? Find a new hobby or friends maybe?

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  • How do u find dates when I can't tf

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  • You can never anticipate when you will fall in love or find "the one". So, the best thing to do is just hang out with ppl as a friend. It's less depressing that way too. Go out with somebody and just have fun and expect nothing.

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  • I feel like I don't want to date so I don't date.

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  • You're a nothing date. Go to bars. It requires less effort.

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