Can i please get advice‽

Overall is it normal to feel unmotivated in a difficult situation?

Brace yourself for a long story...

I really want to get my shit together. But it's hard when my environment sucks.

I stay with a friend and their house is chaotic and messy. I feel bad for staying in the room most of the time , because for the most part when they wake up they go straight to the living room, open the blinds, etc.. start their day. Me on the other hand I stay in the room (I have my air mattress in their room.. we share a room) and I dont want come out sometimes because I can't deal with the clutter/mess.

I feel bad for just saying that when my best friend is GIVING me a place to stay, tech for free but I do clean, cook, and give money. But when I do clean I do it late at night and then when I get up the next day there's hella dishes and the living room is a mess again or bathroom so that part frustrates me. I always say to myself I'm not cleaning up no more.. but I can't help but to clean up. I can't chill in an environment that's chaotic but I can't afford my own place either. Even the dirtiest motels are expensive where I'm at so I'm just STUCK.

I legit talk to myself and try to give myself pep talks to be positive and thankful but sometimes it's hard...

I just need advice or just assurance that things will work out.

Ik it's all on my to get out, but it's hard. I dunno, I legit feel bad for constantly thinking negative, and then just being stuck in this spot I don't have the motivation to do better... I don't know if that makes sense.

Ik for a fact if I already had my own place I'd be doing great things and positive progress, but being here I just wanna be in my bed and don't even feel motivated to do better. Which ik for some ppl that's enough motivation to do better but for me it just makes me want to just stay in my lil spot/bed and be alone..


Is It Normal?
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  • It will almost certainly work out... If you decide to make it work out. The exceptions are random accidents or unknown health issues that end our lives.

    Your problem is most likely that you don't have an adequate dream of goal in your life that is exciting enough to overcome the mundane situations of life.

    What's important is not what you want to do. But why do you want to do it. What is your why? (not what do you want to do?).

    I'm going to provide some background information on how important the "Why" is.

    Here is a YouTube "TED Talk" video I recommend for starters (Start with why?)

    So that outlines the general concept. The Book has a lot more detail and examples.

    Now you have to boil it down to yourself (not some company or national cause).

    Please sit down and start to make a list of how do you want to live in the future. Family, relationships, homes, travel, financial security level, etc., etc.

    Don't focus on what you want to do on that list. Why be a computer nerd, or an assortment of other things, if doing something different will provide you with how you really want to live in the future?

    Then take the top future things you want to accomplish or do in your life and ask yourself why? Define the whys? That will allow you to figure out what and how later.

    Once you have your personal why... you will be motivated to overcome all of the issues that you mention.

    There are gobs of examples of people overcoming all kinds of situations to achieve their version of personal success (including a marathon runner who became quadriplegics by a rockfall during a race)...

    He now runs a multi-$million dollar company and says he is more alive than ever... even though someone must assist him to go to the bathroom and clean him up.

    It's never about what you don't have or cannot do. It's all about what can you do with what you do have... and there's an open field for people out there to succeed.

    I believe in you, and wish you the best in this.

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    • Thank you so much for your response lol, got a lil teary eyed 😂😂 but I greatly do appreciate your response and I will try to do your reccomended approach.

      Thank you so much for reading and helping! 💕

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      • Your welcome. Thank you for reading and seriously considering what I wrote.

        I wish you the best.

        pm me if you would like to discuss things in more detail and look for future options (which are often very personal to each person).

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  • 1. Do you have a job? How old are you? How long have you been living at this friend's house?

    2. If you live rent free, I wouldn't complain. Just do the chores. You maybe can mention it to your friend and tell them that you do your best to keep the place neat, and if they could help you a little more to keep it that way.

    3. What is really keeping you from moving out into your own place? Money? Fear or insecuirty about living alone?

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    • I just got fired because I wasn't able to have a ride to work (because it wasn't a MEDICAL situation)
      I'm 28, been at their house since mid September.

      She does clean as well.. (she has teenagers) and when I do the dishes and I'm still in the living room I ask them to wash their dishes and they will no problem, but I can't be the dishes police and be on their case everytime somebody decides to cook.

      What keeping me from moving is literally the fact I CANNOT afford it. Min wage here is 7.50 but to get a place here you have to make 2xs the rent and the cheapest rent here is 550 for a hallway with a shared kitchen along with just to get accepted everything ( background check/deposit/app fee) costs 1500.

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