Boyfriend obsessed with tiktok

I started dating my boyfriend in June 2020. He was very tentative in the beginning. About 3 months in it was starting to bother me that he was on TikTok so much. I like the app for some of its content (recipes, arts and crafts, animal videos, etc) but I started feeling kind of neglected. Like, I would reach over for a hug and he didn't even notice because he was too engrossed. A few times I have come over at 3PM and he's been on TikTok clear through until 9PM, and I feel like I have to be quiet the whole time. Not to mention I can't stand that annoying "oh no" song. A few weeks ago I proposed an idea to have a day of quality time together without using our phones unless it was important. And we both actually followed through. We watched some movies and he even took care of me because I had really bad cramps/nausea that day.

Lately it's getting to be too much again. It's like his personality changes when he's absorbed in TikTok. I came back after a job interview yesterday, and he really listened and was very supportive of me and gave me a kiss and a hug. Then later he was on his phone and seemed to have forgotten he asked me about the interview; he asked again and this time was barely listening while I was talking. Then he picked an argument with me over the fact that it was taking me too long to find a charger cord, or something small like that, and when I tried to tell him it was rude to get that impatient with me, he kicked me out. I came back later to find him still on his phone. I said "can you put TikTok down a minute?" and he replied "no" without even looking at me. I said "I just want to say I'm sorry" (the argument is partially my fault, I shouldn't have been so quick to emotionally react) and he said "I'm sorry too." He still didn't look up from that stupid app but at least he apologized.

I don't know what to do. I mentioned it to him without coming off as accusatory, and it worked for a short time. I don't want to break up with him because he is seriously the best boyfriend I've ever had. He appreciates me and has been super thoughtful and sweet towards me. Is it normal that he seems to be this preoccupied? Or am I coming across needy? I would never tell him to quit something that brings him joy, I just want to feel more important to him than an app.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 4 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I can't stand people who are obsessed with TikTok.

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  • Jesus. What the Fuck is wrong with people. Tell your bf GET THE FUCK OFF TIK TOK.

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  • Damn I do this. I feel guilty now I'm gonna get off my phone.

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  • He clearly cares more about his phone and tiktok at times but he's not a lost cause. Realistically he should notice and spend more time with you and that should be the goal for now. If he can't let go of his phone and spend time with you then it's time to make a decision whether he's worth it.

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