Backhanded compliments
I like to think up backhanded compliments to give to annoying co-workers. Is it too mean or is it okay to use them? Are there any you have heard or used that were really offensive?
| they're mean | 18 | |
| they're okay | 10 |
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Comments ( 36
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SwickDinging
Depends. If they are dickheads then it's fine, otherwise it's just mean.
It's usually best to keep good relations with colleagues, but I know how annoying it is when you have to work with a bunch of assholes.
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Grunewald
Why start a war when you don't need to? Do you want to make life harder for yourself?
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Anonymous Post Author
Shes always overstepping boundaries and I can't think of any other way to better this
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Grunewald
Tell her what your boundaries are. It will require a frank conversation but at least you can get her to stop the problem behaviour without things turning mutually sour. When that happens, it all gets a LOT harder to sort out.
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NoLifer
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GaelicPotato
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shuggy-chan
Depends on how you use them, if it’s between friends, it fun and you just trying to see if you can slid on past them for a sec
But if the intent is to just be a jerk, doing that too much seem kinda toxic
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Grunewald
People who are like that often don't realise it. And people who are new are often anxious to impress, make themselves useful and take on responsibilitues, and they come across as arrogant because they feel insecure and are looking for positive feedback so that they can feel better about themselves. Just let her know that she's doing fine, and have her understand that there's nothing more she needs to do or say to convince you that she's capable of doing a good job. If she's already anxious deep down, then 'putting her in her place' in an offensive way could really upset her. Then she'll get even more insecure, and you could end up bogged down with even more problem behaviours from her.
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Grunewald
Dude, what's wrong with you? Don't you want to understand other people and avoid conflict, irrespective of who's in the wrong and who's in the right? Isn't it obvious to you - even if you don't care much for the other person's wellbeing - that however wrong she is, returning a wrong for a wrong is just going to make things worse and potentially get you into trouble too?
There are ways of acting on annoying behaviours that carry a lesser risk of making other people unhappy, or making relationships worse, or getting us into trouble.
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ellnell
You mean bullying said in a nice tone which makes you even bigger of an annoying asshat than if you were to just say the insult normally.
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Sounds mean to me and pretty spineless. If you have a problem with someone address it directly or just let it go.
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Anonymous Post Author
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LloydAsher
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SkullsNRoses
The most backhanded compliment I ever received was, “You could do modelling- I mean it’s 2019 they let anyone in now”.
Backhanded compliments are childish, be the bigger person.
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bigbudchonga
I think it depends on what their intent. If their intent is pure then that's fine, and I'll be happy, but I imagine a lot of the time people get them from other people just being bitchy and passive-aggressive.
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GaelicPotato
You ask for opinions and then ignore all those opinions because they don't agree with you. You're not looking for advice, you're looking for confirmation.
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You were told by all of us the same thing. You don't listen. Best of luck. Good day.
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Grunewald
Why do you only care about being judged as 'right' all the time, either with regard to your colleague, or with regard to upvotes or downvotes? And why so vehemently, like someone just did something outrageous? Why can't you just evaluate other people's negative judgment of you as either potentially accurate or potentially not, and call yourself into question if necessary to see if there's something you need to change? Why is it impossible, outrageous even, for you to EVER be wrong? What's the matter with you?
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Grunewald
Your being apparently 'allergic' to the mere suggestion that you could be wrong, makes you vulnerable - do you know that? Much like you with this co-worker, this trait of yours makes other people tempted to wind you up ;-). And for that feeling, that yen, to wind you up that I feel in myself sometimes when I try to talk to you (however wrong and hypocritical it would be of me to act on it), I think I might know which user you are.
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