Are there other "Meth-heads" who are happy(ish) and contribute socially?
I have been a Meth smoker for just over 14 years now. I got sent to rehab by my work in 2012 and have been trying ever since to rid my existence of the monkey riding my ass. I tried to quit because of so many external factors, stigmas, social expectations and supposed (projected) health issues.
Strangely enough, until I really started focussing on stopping, the damages to everything that was my life were miniscule; compared to the destruction thereto since.
My struggle took me to "the rooms" at NA, (later AA also) and 2 more stints in rehab, all to no avail. I had friggin lost everything fighting it, strange thing is that when I gave up trying so hard, things started falling into place. I have learnt (the hard way) to make sure that I eat, sleep and dose regularly. I have an engineering degree and am a seasoned veteran in my field of work (not directly related to engineering) and am able to outperform my peers by a large margin. I have found working from home to be key here, as people don't like what they don't understand and (generally speaking) consultants don’t act kindly to competition as things are; in my experience standing out like a sore thumb (for instance) in a corporate environment, did not do my attendance record any favours. As I had to be largely sober when going in to the office, I could not harness the up side of the drug; which helps me focus and brings out mathematical creativity unlike me (historically speaking).
I am in my 40’s, have most of my teeth still earn money in the top 0.15 percentile of folks (according to some calculator I found somewhere) and am 100% healthy. I don’t steal, kill or bite fellow humans and try and make a positive difference in the world around me.
The status quo, stands in contrast to everything I have come to know about the prognosis commonly accepted to be the result of such practices. I was wondering, am I all alone on this? (Apart from the ever present breathing sounds coming from the monkey firmly lodged to my upper torso)