Are my desires to want to be alone normal?

It's funny because I'm not all that anti-social, I'm actually quite good at talking with people and I do still enjoy social things from time to time.

It seems as if I'm usually put in the social scenarios only 20% of the time by my desire and design, most of the time it's just circumstance and I make the best of it because I'm a happy kind of guy. But when left to my own planning, I usually just choose to be alone.

The thing is, I really enjoy being alone a lot, and I feel as though I definitely seek it out more than anyone I know.

when being social, I'm more of a one on one kind of guy. Not always, but I mostly dread larger social get-togethers, holidays, parties, ect..

I've traveled to 35 countries in my 23 years on earth, the majority of which I did alone. Sure I made some friends on trips and hung out with fellow travelers, but the majority of the time it was just me, myself, and I.

I've grown a bit used to being a stranger in a strange land, meeting people enjoying time together but then leaving the country.

because my travel and me now living in a different state then the one I grew up in, a lot of my early high school friends have drifted away, or rather I drifted away, -a little bit of both.

I have some new "friends" but they don't seem as close as the ones i had in my high school days, I feel most border closer on the acquaintance side of the spectrum.

I've had girlfriends, but never really long-term ones
I wish I could find a girl that was as comfortable to be with as it is being alone.

I guess it's a bit of a ramble, But all in all, I just feel like I simultaneously want people but also want to be alone all the time.

Any thoughts, stories, insults, advice, jokes, insight, questions are appreciated!

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 5 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • My feelings are very similar: I live alone and love it except when I'm feeling lonely, which is not very often.

    I love conversation with good people, especially one on one, but when I'm in large crowds I tend to hide and feel relief when I'm home by myself again.

    I also love time with family, but am quite happy to leave them when the time is right and be by myself.

    So I definitely voted Normal

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  • Perfectly normal, we all need time to ourselves sometimes.

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  • I definitely feel the same, I feel awkward at large gatherings and like to be alone, but sometimes either feel worse for being alone, or feel even more alone when I'm with friends.

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  • I love to be by myself, yet sad that I don't have any friends. Sometimes I am glad that I am not in a relationship;therefore I can be alone and relax. But yet I wish that I had a boyfriend.

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  • I feel you. Sometimes being alone is just the best. I feel it’s because you can do whatever you want and not worry about how people will view you. Maybe that’s why people enjoy it so much it’s just so stress free and a good time to reflect.

    Oh yeah and also I find myself very similar to you or in the same situation anyways, I’m a great conversationalist but love to be by myself and can’t stand large gatherings etc.

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