Are christian's better at finding the right partner? iin?

All my Christian friends are with their first relationship.

One is with a man who was their first boyfriend at 16. Another at 18, another at 21, the list keeps going. They all are engaged and married to the very first person they dated.

Are they talented at finding the right partner first try??

Is It Normal?
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  • Its kind of a conservatives culture to marry young

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  • No

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  • They are a hell of a lot better at taking in flaws and working through them.

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  • The sharing of Christian values can lead to compatibility.

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  • What I know is that the ones whose marriages last often have different expectations of marriage than most people today. They are more like the expectations of former generations: they treat the relationship as a stepping stone to marriage - or else they break up. They are very deliberate about this. Marriage is an ideal and a goal to them, and making the marriage work is a life mission. It reflects the unbreakable union of Christ and his beloved Church, so those whose marriages are successful have often done everything they could to keep their marriages healthy and together, because it represents something higher than themselves. I remember when I was a 'young person' in church - they taught us about marriage being a vocation, about life partnership and teamwork and existing and working in the world as a 'unit', not about starry-eyed romantic fantasy (although they were adamant that romance is very important and very Biblical). They told us that relationship maintenance is essential to making the marriage work and is not an option, and taught us about the four 'love languages': some people prefer gifts, others quality time, still others, acts of service, and some, physical touch... they said that many successful married couples have regular 'date nights' and continue having sex even as they age, and that setting regular time aside to maintain our relationship with our spouse is essential, even if this becomes an inconvenient 'duty' in the busyness of life. We were taught about expecting to be wronged by each other and being prepared to forgive, and about not expecting our partner to 'make' us happy or to heal our inner wounds. They gave this advice to the women and the men.

    We were told to find out certain things when choosing a mate: how they treat/talk about their parents (this will be reflected back on us one day); how they manage their finances (this is a huge source of arguments); whether they have the same values as us and have life goals and projects that we can work on together as a team, or are at least compatible. We were also told not to date anyone with a pornography addiction. We were told to get help for our emotional problems before marrying if possible, with the knowledge that whatever is our problem would eventually become our partner's problem too. Some people do personality tests to find out where their personalities 'rub' and what kinds of things are going to cause arguments.

    Also, many conservative couples do not have sex before marriage. Time and time again I have heard that delaying satisfaction of their desires helped couples to focus on getting to know each other in different ways - the sorts of ways I've listed above, for starters. We were told that after marriage we must not be selfish about sex, and should do what we can to satisfy each other's needs, because sex is important to marriage and has a symbolic sacred meaning, and lack of sex can make it tempting for the frustrated partner to look for sex elsewhere and break the union.

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    • So are you married, divorced, widowed, single, bisexual, lesbian, or onanist? If you are bisexual, you can have both a husband and a wife in a stable relationship provided that all three partners approve.

      I'm widowed.

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      • Single.

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        • Why don't you just become a priest? Seems to fit your style. There's no way you would last very long writing mathematical military software for battle ready combat systems like I used to do. You're too full of glorious ideals that give you tremendous excitement.

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          • Touche

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            • Hello there. I am the Beanman, and I am pleased to meet you. Even though I am Agnostic, I try to help personalities that are different from me. After all, the world is better when everybody gets along with each other.

              I am intrigued by your offer for combat. Are you a fencer?

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  • Gotta test drive the minivan before buying it

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