Any ideas why i cant find a date?

Tried for 2 years and it seems people on dating sites either dont reply or just dont say much at all. I dont get it? I been on and off apps for 2 years. Most my mates at least meet 1 person off them by now! No one even tries to get to know me as a person? Is this the way if the world or is it me? I'm 26f and trying to find a date let alone a gf is like trying to find a needle on a hay stack. Im heading to age 30

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 36 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • It’s you.

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    • Exactly. I suspect this is the same person who popped up about a year ago, grizzling that she was single at 25. I told her then that life didn’t owe her a partner yet she continued to make post after self-pitying post about how women didn’t want her.

      I wonder if she’s also behind that angry “men are sex animals” rant earlier today. It wouldn’t surprise me.

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      • Yep. Im pretty sure it's a troll and maybe not even a woman, although they've been keeping the age consistent over the years this has been posted. They seem to cycle between this and a few other topics ("my bf is a 28 year old drug addict", "I abuse my step son", "How can I rape a straight girl as a lesbian", "how can i sabotage my straight friend's relationship" etc. or something along those lines), got busted once about a year ago and claimed they were actually a married dude who was just trolling.

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        • I’m relived that those were just trolls, but still just, why?

          Also how does someone “get busted” as an IIN troll? Did they forget to click “reply anonymously”?

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          • Haha. well basically there is an exploit of this site where if you block a user, their anonymous comments will disappear from their posts. The trick now is finding which username they are posting under. maybe they have gotten wise and keep a separate account for trolling now.

            as for the why, this person has also posted that they suspect they are autistic. without trying to be offensive, the repetitive behavior and lack of empathy would then make sense.

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            • Wow, the more you know. I’ve never blocked anyone on here so I could have never discovered that.

              I’m no expert but that does sound like mild autism to me.

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        • Lol that's very interesting but def not me

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      • Same person. I honestly don’t understand why she has an account here as she complains about everyone’s questions about sex.

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  • Learning to be able to connect to people takes time, and you should 1st focus on finding people who have a similar interest.

    May I suggest some books that may help:

    How to Win Friends & Influence People in the Digital Age: Dale Carnegie and Associates

    The Art of Dealing With People: Les Giblin
    Skill With People: Les Giblin

    The last 2 books are short and fairly quick reads; but pack a lot of information.

    I'm not in your age group and no saying that we would match long term; but, I can do casual (non-sexual) dates with anyone if you are in Eastern Wisconsin. I'm very selective sexually, and those typically takes months of knowing a person first (among other things) and being able to have fun together outside of bars and the bedroom.

    But, I enjoy mentoring people and perhaps I can help you develop your personal skills if this would potentially work for you and you would like to connect (PM function).

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    • I live in another country but thanks for this constructive advice !! If only the other twits didnt comment when they had nothing nice to say

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  • Are you an angry person? Do you complain alot about things? Those are big red flags for people.

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    • Not to others

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      • If when you are talking to them and you're start saying stuff like "Men are stupid they shouldnt be allowed to..." all the time they might take that as a red flag.

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  • But surely if you write to people the same way you wrote your post then I don't see why you'd be surprised if they didn't reply. And from the look of things, age 30 is heading to you.

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    • Na I don't! I am actually the opp in real life it's just when shit doesn't work out I start to complain

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  • Maybe you're socially awkward, but don't realize it, or maybe you're really pushy, and scare people away?

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    • What's wrong with socially awkward? Ample people have anxiety and also I know one socially very awkward attractive women who met her wifey on a dating site only after 3 months. For the record her wife isnt awkward at all in social situations. Proves to me socially awkward people can find competent partners

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  • Your probably super ugly

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  • Hey, don't worry, I am sure there are many positive attractive things about you. The LGBTQ+ community is a lot smaller than the heterosexual one so it might take you some time. Remember that you are a beautiful and good person and don't let any of these haters in the comments section put you down. Good luck!

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    • Thanks very much but I must correct anyone who says LGBT is smaller pool because I'm sick and tired of hearing this to be Frank! Sexuality is fluid and women are 3 times more likely to change sexuality than men

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  • Outside your room in the great outdoors but you might also encounter mrs covid....🤣

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  • Stop desperately trying to look for a partner, just go out there and meet people. focus on yourself and if you stop looking for a partner the right person will come to you. also like 4 percent of the world identifies as lgbt so its probably a lot harder to find, but you will with patience. I've heard this somewhere but don't just look for the ideal person be the ideal person.

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    • Um 4% is definitely invalid as LGBT is far more prevalent its 21st century dude! Sexuality is fluid especially with women and I once heard women are 3 times more likely to change sexual orientation than men. It's not the fact I have an issue meeting women, in fact a lot of so called "straight women" dont do anything for me at all, it's the fact I cant find one I feel attraction for and if I do which is rare it doesn't eventuate

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      • So it sounds like you CAN get dates, your just not getting the RIGHT dates. Thats up to your standards. If your asking why you can't get dates, the truth is you can. but finding someone that you feel 100% attraction for is rare for most people. People are really hooking up and seeing if things work as they go. also, LBGTQ is still very much a minority. I have not found a single male date, but have had many female dates because statistically they are just harder to come by. give it time, you'll definitely find someone right for you one day.

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        • I agree with most of what you state however I'll repeat when I say,sexuality is fluid according to Kinsey's scale and many articles I have read,things I have heard. Sexuality is more fluid with women as women are 3 times more likely to change sexuality. I also have met a lot of "straight" women but I just dont feel that spark. Men itd be harder for sure as gay men are more scrutinized

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      • So you're saying you're picky with the women you try to engage with? How many women do you 'swipe right on' (or the equivalent of that, depending on what app you're using) per week?

        Would you say you're generally attractive? Are you obese?

        Sorry, I don't mean to be rude. I only ask these questions because it is unusual to be on dating apps that long and not find a date, although not too unusual.

        I've read that one statistic for men trying to date women on a dating app is that 80% feel less confident in themselves afterwards. Of course you're a woman yourself so this can't be directly insightful but i think it can shed a light on the difficulty of dating apps.

        As a 5' 9'' 27 yo man who has used dating apps for years, I can tell you that my experience has been very difficult overall. When I was 23-25 I would guess that only 1/500 girls I attempted to engage with actually met with me for a date.

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        • I definitely am picky indeed!! I dont swipe a lot of profiles and I do get a lot of matches. The odd profile I'll try to engage with and its either no reply or a small one and they end up vanishing. I actually hate dating apps tbh, most profiles dont do it for me at all and the very few that look okay, nothing happens. I'm very slim, a bit too skinny imo. Im also a little above average, I'd say a 6 or 7 out of 10 appearance wise. I do like to look agter myself with hair style and fashion. I use little make up.
          I have I'm fact felt further depressed from the dating apps tbh do I cann understand that 80% stats of men who feel the same. 100%can relate, I have lost a lot of hope and confidence

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  • Did you look at the wrong places?

    It might be an underlying reason.

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    • LGBT events and clubs or bars and all dating sites and apps

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