Am i cold?

70% Normal

I got a brother who's mentally and emotionally psychotic, very unstable, intimidating and always insists on picking fights, and will take opportunity to financially bleed me dry. He's about to be evicted from his apartment and insists that he move into my house with me. I can't handle having someone like that stay with me even though he is my brother. He says I'm being heartless by not letting him stay with me, and what ever happens to him therefore all on me. He's saying how fucked up I am for not letting him stay. But I can't do it, he's unstable, seriously tempered, will try every opportunity to get or steal money from me, and he does some stuff that's not even legal with hustling or taking money from others. Am I being heartless by letting him stay with me? He totally says I am, but brother or not, I cannot handle someone who's like that staying with me.

Voting Results

70% Normal

Based on 20 votes (14 yes)

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Comments ( 22 )

[Old Memory]

6 years ago

You owe him nothing! Don't even think about taking him in!

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RoseIsabella

6 years ago

You are not cold, what you are is smart not to his crazy user-ass in your home! Good for you for protecting yourself, and doing what's right for you, dear heart. Don't ever let anyone guilt trip and manipulate you into being taken advantage of just because the person is related to you.

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Dustyair

6 years ago

Wow, steer clear of him, you are not responsible for him fucking up his own life.

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Boojum

6 years ago

Users will do their damndest to guilt people into letting themselves be used.

Don't fall for it.

You didn't choose to have him as a sibling, and the accident of birth that means you're related does not mean he's entitled to use and abuse you. You have a right to enjoy your life and home free of the stress he'd bring into it. He clearly needs to start working on sorting out his life.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  I won't fall for it now. I've spoken to a couple friends of mine about this, and you guys, you're all saying the same thing. I'm taking that advice.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    6 years ago
    
    Well done.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      What I've figured now is if the advice I get is somewhere around 50/50, even like 60/40, maybe 70/30, I gotta kinda form my own opinion, because there's a chance either side may be right. But if it's 90/10, 95/5, or 100%, then it's obviously wise for me to follow the advice of 90%, 95%, or 100% of the people giving me that same advice. It seems like in this case, just about 100% of the people are giving me the same advice.
      
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[Old Memory]

6 years ago

"Am I cold?" Probably, I mean, it's January and it's only like 20 degrees f even in TX.

Jk, anyway, you're not cold; you're just being smart. Your brother is attempting to manipulate you into letting him use you again.

There's no need to walk into his trap. He's an adult, and he's the one who made a mess out of his life, so he's responsible for cleaning it up.

If it was my brother, I wouldn't touch that crap again with a 10 foot pole. I'd ditch him, particularly after I'd helped him before.

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Silverseen

6 years ago

Don’t talk to him. He is just a future cause of a BIG problem if you don’t push him out of your life. He doesn’t deserve the love of a sibling if he blames everything on the universe. Just steer away from him at all costs and to go to the extremes, lose all contact with him.

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jaystrong

6 years ago

If he has nowhere else to go then there's his answer. He's managed to piss off everyone else and no one can trust him. You don't need to do anything you don't want to. First he'll try to move in and next try to take over and call the shots. This is one situation he has no control over no matter what you think.

If you cave you should maybe lay down some ground rules and tell him if he breaks them he's out. OR just use his history as a reason not to.

I've said no to many who needed a place to stay and glad I did. I'd find out afterwards they'd steal from them or cause major issues where they stay.

It's up to you. One last chance? I wouldn't.

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redrainbow22

6 years ago

If you show him kindness, he might change his ways, and tell him he cant do any of that stuff anymore.

But tell him that from his shed outside in the garage.

Or you could give him a chance, and the first opportunity he screws up, he's out.

Maybe he really does need some help. And you could help him. The decision is still up to you.

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bob7

6 years ago

if his own family isnt helping him , who will ?

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S12207

6 years ago

People only change when they are ready no matter what you do to try to help them. That's not a healthy situation for you and you don't want him dragging you down with him. I know that sounds awful but truthfully he won't change until he wants to.

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lonewolf1253

6 years ago

Your instincts are right on the money. Don't let him stay with you no matter what he says or does. From the sound of him, if you did, you'd regret it from the minute he walked in the door.

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nikkiclaire

6 years ago

Whats wrong with him?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  He's just pissed off at the world
  
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  - nikkiclaire
    
    6 years ago
    
    Then no you aren't being cold.
    
    If he is truely mentally ill you should help him secure the help he needs though.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      Once he starts on the right path though, and he's gotten on his way trying to get better and he really has changed his attitude, I'll be there with him again. But, until then, as of now, he needs to stay far away from me as long as he still carries that "fuck you!" attitude, he keeps that unstable explosive temper, he keeps conning and stealing money from people, and keeps insisting that he's right about everything.
      It will probably be months until all those changes are really under way. Those kinds of total personality character and lifestyle transformations can not happen in a couple of weeks. And I don't even know now if any of that will be happening at all.
      
      It's been that way for years, but it wasn't always like this. When we were little kids growing up, we were best friends. Just like your neighborhood friends, which I had too, and my brother. It was a different world back then.
      
      He has no idea I'm posting any of this, so I'm keeping my name, and user name anonymous. I'm not saying where I am, except somewhere in America.
      
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      I'm not sure how else to help him. I've suggested shelters, psychiatrists, and hospital, and all he does is argue and refuses to change his ways, never known anyone else so hard-headed either. He's not staying with me cause I'm not gonna give myself a nervous breakdown for him. I got no choice but to turn him loose, he's on his own completely now until he recognizes the help he needs to get, forms a new attitude, and spends a considerable amount of time getting the right help and changing his life. That can take months, maybe years though. But, that time period won't even start until he changes his attitude.
      
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      - nikkiclaire
        
        6 years ago
        
        Well best of luck. I hope he gets the help he needs. Don't beat yourself up. People have to hit bottom sometimes and maybe this is his.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        6 years ago
        
        Thanks. I feel better having found so many other people who agree with me.
        
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EccentricWeird

6 years ago

You're approaching 8 Kelvin, and getting colder! DOCTOR WHAT'S HAPPENING

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Are You Normal?

Am i cold?