Am i being used or is he confused?

9 Comments

He’s my best friend , and I am his only friend. We do everything together. Literally everything. We only mess around with each other and I mean this in a sexual way. He’s only been with me always only been with me and I don’t mess with anyone else. We have the deepest conversations and I’ve never been this close to a man before without being in a relationship. Some say it’s unhealthy, toxic, others say we are in a relationship and just don’t call it one. He however says that we are not dating and we will never date because I am not his type of woman or ideal wife. Someone pointed out that I do so much for him and he enjoys it so he’s going to use me until he finally meets a woman he likes. Others say he’s confused on what he wants and that is why boundaries between us are pushed. Some say they genuinely think we have a great friendship and dating would ruin it. Tell me what do you think? I know I am explaining pretty vague so if anyone has any questions I’ll answer it. I do , do a lot for him. If he needs anything I got it. If I need him he’s got me. He buys me things I buy things for him. He’s told me some of his darkest stuff and I’ve told him mine. Never have I opened up to anyone like this before.

He’s being a good friend 4
He’s confused 3
He’s using you 2
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Comments ( 9 )
  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    You've told us what is happening, now what I want to know is how you feel about all of this.

    Do you want a real relationship with him, or are you satisfied with how things are? How would you feel if he suddenly acquired a real girlfriend? Do you ever want a real boyfriend? Are you actually attracted to him? Do you not date other men, because you don't care to do so, or because you feel as if you aren't allowed to do so? Are you free to pursue, and date other guys? How do you feel about the way things are?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      I would like a relationship with him, but that’s not what he wants. If he got a girlfriend I would be upset but I would still put it aside to be happy for him. Of course I’d want a real boyfriend just haven’t met anyone I guess. I’m very attracted to him inside and out I love to be around him. I have pursued other guys especially to try and detach myself from him but nothing usually ever works out but I am free to pursue and sometimes I do it. I feel like well I really like him and he doesn’t like me and that’s been established and this is where people normally move on and don’t talk anymore but I liked being his friend and he told me he didn’t want to lose me as a friend just because he doesn’t share the same feelings. He said he likes seeing me and I’m his best friend and I consider him mine as well but I never got over how I felt about him.

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      • RoseIsabella
        4 years ago

        That doesn't sound like a very healthy situation. I kinda think he's taking advantage of you.

        You need to get out more, and look for activities that don't involve him.

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  • McBean
    4 years ago

    What you have going is good. Give him love, give him sex, live in the moment.

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  • Doesnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    Do you regularly sex with him? If so how much/often? This is important because if he is using you, it is most likley for sex.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      When we first started we used to go at it every night but now we barely do it, maybe once a week or every other week sometimes.

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      • litelander8
        4 years ago

        Does one of you in particular initiate it?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          4 years ago

          It changes sometimes I do sometimes he does

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          • Doesnormalmatter
            4 years ago

            Well than at least it isn't obvious, but he may still be taking advantage of you. I would reply to Rose's comment to seek further advice.

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