Am i a bad person?

I pretty sure my roommates utterly despise me at this piont. I think I kind of broke the house as a whole. Though there was a ton of tension to begin with. Everyone was getting mad at everyone else about cleaning and than I finally got fed up since someone left dishes piled in the sink. I was doing a majority of the cleaning in the beginning. I mean maybe I should have let it go this time. Anyways I decided say something and it turned into an argument. My roommates yell at me for not talking when there is an issue but when I do they get angry and say I am over reacting. Im also super introverted and take awhile to process things. Occasionally ill not respond to things I was texted or asked for literal days and have a list of 20 responses I had to think over and pick. Since I kind of already am fearful of negitive feedback I kind of shutdown if I feel I am being ignored. Which also is a horrible way to handle things. My roommates expressed if I dont like the situation I can leave but I not sure moving into a different unit with new people is gonna be any better.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 24 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Your situation sounds like that of my own flatmate's/friend's/live-in landlady's son. He has this housemate who leaves his dishes in the sink for ages and then (the same housemate) writes passive-aggressive messages on their WhatsApp group about everyone leaving dishes in the sink.

    I'll say to you what I said to him: sometimes you've just got to get out of a situation. Get in touch with friends who have big cars and like putting furniture in them, and tell them your conundrum. Or just any friend who can drive a hire car, provided you can pay the hire fee. They might offer you the help before you even have to ask for it.

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  • Get your own place and rent out rooms with specific qualifications.

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  • I don't feel bad for you. It's your fault for putting up with it. But to answer your question, no.

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  • Start afresh in a new place and have the conversation from the get go. I’ve lived in countless sharehouses and the only way it works, even when it doesn’t, is to have established ground rules from the get go. Then it’s not personal if someone’s not meeting these, it’s all been written down and agreed upon prior.

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    • Well that is what the landlord suggested and everyone flat out said "NO"!

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      • Trust me when someone’s looking for a place to rent and finds somewhere they like, and the landlord presents some ground rules on upkeep, they will always agree to them in order to get the place. It’s in their best interests to agree. Now many people do that, then let their standards slip over time as they become complacent. But having it in writing from the get go, an agreement in place, you’ve always got something to refer back to which depersonalises the adherence to standards.

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        • They said no. This was tried. I also refered to the lease agreement already.

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          • You’ve got to get out of there if you’re living with people who have said no to what the ground rules are and what the terms of their lease agreement are and after saying no to them the landlord still let them move in!!! god get out of there ASAP!!! That’s one crazy landlord he might as well have just hired a demolition expert lol

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          • At what point did they say no, when they first moved in and sighted the ground rules? (ground rules are different from lease agreements)

            Also, I was giving advice on how to tackle this in future, not your present predicament. I would move and start afresh, ideally into a place where you can go about finding housemates, with your own ground rules that can be discussed and agreed upon. If the housemates applying to live with you say no to your ground rules then simply say no to their application.

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      • When you guys first moved in? Or was it further down the track? Cos if they did it from the outset, as I’m suggesting, and everyone said no, then the landlord should’ve said “well them the rules, you want the place you need to agree to follow them.”

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        • Landlord let then say no.

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