'Single' women are not single

When I meet women who were cheated on or trust was broken, and then constantly talk about how they don't need a man, they come off as not single at all.

Not only is their ex still in their mind more than a healthy person in a relationship would think about their partner, but they see this man in every man they see.

They let this ex partner craft their attitude, their views towards men, literally their entire life.

So on paper they are single, but mentally they are more in a relationship than anyone else, hence their defensiveness.

Similar case can be true for men who were cheated on

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Not everything is about men.

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  • Ok so what's your point? Lmao. Of course a girl can be single and not ready for a relationship. Are you complaining?

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    • The point is they feel emboldened by their freedom from men, when in fact they let men control them more than a person with the most controlling boyfriend ever.

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  • Until they learn the power of forgiveness, they allow this person to make them miserable for years after they ever even have regularly interacted with them if at all.

    They shoot themselves in the foot.

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    • Forgiveness is not necessary for healing or to move on from bad experiences, that's a dangerous myth based in christianity and promulgated by far too many newage (rhymes with sewage) so-called "healers"

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      • Maybe we're using different definitions of the word. I can tell you mine involves never necessarily speaking to the person again, or condoning any of their behavior.
        It is the act of putting yourself in their shoes so they become another person to you and not a monster that is fictionalized and exaggerated.
        It is synonymous with letting go, as to hold hate for someone is to hold importance and hold them in your mind.
        I can not speak for every Christian or new age person but have often heard it described this way.

        The real secret is that more often when women say their complaints of men, these are fears they have of themselves. All these women today decrying barbarous "male" behavior which they themselves seem to emulate more than any average man.
        It is quite humorous, but shows our transparency and the powers we give others over us, and then continue in denial that as would do this

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        • Why would I need to put "put myself in the shoes" of a rapist in order to heal? I know he's a human being and believe me, he's been doing enough harm to enough women for decades to not need any fictionalising or exaggerating.

          The last part of your post is total bullshit: are you suggesting women's fear of violent men is because we're so prone to violence against men? Really???? Check out the relevant stats, you're talking garbage and I see nothing "humorous" about whatever you think you're talking about

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          • If you see him as human, that to me is putting yourself in his shoes.

            The defensiveness of your response speaks for itself.

            There is a reason people fear violence and rape, but not auto accidents and heart disease which statistically should be rational fears.

            Fears don't reflect reality, they are born out of the parts of ourselves we wish to obscure.

            I am aware more men rape. But I see more women behaving meanly and brutishly in the way they speak to others, which is what I was speaking about, sorry for lack of clarity.

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            • My "defensiveness" is justifiable anger at reading crap and victim blaming.

              Are you really equating women being verbally "mean" and "brutish" with rape? REALLY?

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            • You know I realize this actually can be true for violence as well.

              Just 5 days ago I saw a twitter post of a 20 something woman gloating about how this guy was flirting with her at the club and she then punched him in the nuts when she learned he had a girlfriend.

              And this is getting likes and retweets, and nobody viewing this as a violent sexual assault, in a non self-defense situation, touching genitals without consent, etc.

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