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Was having a chat with a random dude and he told me I should not compliment and support my gf as much as I do or she will devalue me or take me for granted or cheat on me.
I wanted to know if you think this is true
| I'm female - agree | 4 | |
| I'm female - disagree | 18 | |
| I'm male - agree | 18 | |
| I'm male - disagree | 5 | |
| Other | 7 |
People should not put other people on pedestals period. It doesn't matter if your male or female, gay or straight, young or old, nor does it matter who it is you want to place on a pedestal. Just don't idolize or worship other people, because it's stupid and pointless.
There's nothing wrong with complimenting and supporting someone you love, but don't make that person your Higher Power.
Basically, when it comes to relationships, everyone starts out looking at the surface of the water, neither caring what's underneath nor how to swim, until we jump in and almost drown.
No one truly knows what they're searching for at first. We're constantly judging people from appearance, mistaking arrogance for confidence, and thinking sex means love or love means sex. We don't have a clue until we make mistakes, and go through heartache we're not sure we'll survive from.
One of the mistakes we make is putting someone on a pedestal, which means we believe that he/she is perfect (has little to no flaws); and we do anything for him/her solely to keep them happy; because if they're happy, they wont leave, right? Wrong. That's unrealistic, and can place a heavy burden on your partner, or feed into their ego if you picked someone who is self-centered.
The solution? Call your partner out on their bullshit. You don't have to be a jerk, but just be brave, listen carefully, and use constructive criticism. That's it. Next to genuine confidence, it's sexy when you can actually communicate well with your partner in different situations, whether it be while arguing or making love, the communication is there. You're not just a yes-man/woman trying to stay on your partner's good side so he/she doesn't leave or get upset.
She has flaws but they seem trivial. I would feel stupid to make a fuss about things purposely that dont bother me. I am understanding patient and neutral naturally so I dont have a problem with things that much. But she probably gets her way more than I do.
I dont make her happy because I am afraid she will get upset or leave or do anything else for that fear. I make her happy because it makes me happy. The rest I am just being me. She can leave whenever she wants I believe no one is my prisoner so I will never beg someone to stay.
Maybe all this strokes her ego if so that would be a little pathetic. Does it still seem like I am putting her on a pedestal?
You're right. I've learned it the hard way. Idealising someone often leads to heartbreak.
There is nothing wrong with treating a girl nice and respectful. It is important though too not let her take you for granted and to make sure you are confident in yourself and that you are a good catch. The right girl won't cheat just because you treat her nice.
People cheat because they're heartless, passive aggressive assholes. They don't cheat because someone is nice to them. A lot of guys (including me at one point) seem to think that what a woman does and how she behaves in the relationship is in their control. For example, thinking that if they're assertive and extra confident that she will stay more attracted and stuff like that. In reality, I don't think that makes any difference.
If it's a good match and the person isn't a heartless piece of trash, then they won't cheat and things will be good. But the problem is that most people just don't give two fucks... about anything or anyone. That's why most relationships fail... because most people don't have it in them to stay true and committed.
It's not that simple and it really depends. The only definite fact from this, is that dude has read a lot of shit on the internet. The problem with that is, insecure guys without much real-life experience end up thinking they have to act like a dick to get women to respect them.
And it's just not that simple.
It IS possible to compliment someone too much, for sure. But it's up to you to find the balance. And without knowing how much you compliment her, it's hard to say.
Don't think pedestals should be too high but people cheat for all kinds of reasons. If you like her cheating then get off on it. if you don't, then leave.
That's nonsense. A woman doesn't cheat just because a guy is kind to her. Maybe if he's a jerk though...
I'm female- I think you can treat her like a princess because she'll get bored. I just dont like the "she will cheat part". I dont think that's related.
My boyfriend doesn't treat me like a princess, but if he did, that would not be a reason to cheat. in fact, im not planning on ever cheating , if he gets too cheesy ill break up with him before cheating on him
It depends on the person. Everyone is different for the most part. I know women that will worship the ground you walk on if you are nice to them. And some that will spat in your face for telling them something nice. It's all about commutation you have to talk and have a understanding of each other expectations. Then you will not be taken advantage of. Some people have in realistic expections and they will never get met so they are unhappy all the time and the will drag anyone down they can. So commutation is key.