'friend' said im lifeless for not being married

in the summer my friend and I tried to hang out with our other friend, she cancelled a lot. (she would cancel, reschedule, cancel, and then never rescheduled) at this point I was like okay ill just wait for her to approach me to hang out since she keeps cancelling. after I stop putting the effort boom - haven't talked to her in a couple of months. We clearly drifted apart.
She's pregnant and gave birth and I saw it via social media, and so my other friend texts her congratulations (a few days later) and she gets all mad at her saying that she said it "too late" etc, which led to me realizing I shouldve congratulated her early on but since she already yelled at my friend for not saying it on day 1 I knew she was gonna yell at me too because im "too late" even though my friend apologized she was still mad. in her head she clearly thinks we have these ill intentions that is not the case

any who. she texts me asking why I cut her off, and I explain to her that I stopped putting effort into the friendship and then it died... lol we stopped talking completely, and she goes on about how I didnt congratulate her and said it was due to my 'big ego' and I explained that It was wrong to not have said congratulations but she gave me no room to apologize/change because in her eyes it was "too late". I also told her that it felt like I was viewing a strangers post not my friend.. even though I understand her POV shes not understanding mine or even taking our apologies. I don't have a time machine, what does she want from me?
When I told her we drifted away after she kept cancelling she told me that I shouldve communicated and I told her communicate goes both ways.. and then she said she is married + has a child and that I shouldn't get mad at people that have this life and to understand that not everybody is "lifeless"... basically claiming that I have no life for not being married having a child... (I go to university but ok...) lol anyways any advice. this girl is clearly so mad, my other friends told me that she might be mad at something else and just throwing it on me. just needed to rant cos what the heck

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  • She's throwing the blame on you. She may be suffering from ppd.

    She has realized, she's married, now has a child, and maybe envious of the fun she had being single. So you live in this make believe world that you are the one with a life and everyone else doesn't.

    Marriage and children aren't the downer that some people think, it's different but not an end. It's a new beginning, she could probably use your help realizing that there is still a way to have friends, single and married, with and without kids, although she will probably have more in common now with other young mothers.

    I would say put a little effort in it you might be surprised. I would also caution, don't flirt with her man, that relationship could be fragile and if she's in ppd it's easy for him to remember being single and the fun he thinks it was.

    He technically could be suffering ppd as well, but his pertains more to a loss of a girl friend and the transition to wife and mother with a lot less time or play for him.

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    • totally agree she doesnt seem happy. she just gave birth and is focusing on who said congratulations etc, when a new-born should keep u super busy. seems like shes unhappy and feels alone imo

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  • She sounds like a piece of 💩!

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  • One of my best friends is in his 40s and unmarried. He has casual dates pretty often, so it's not like he doesn't have the necessary traits to find partners. He just doesn't want to get married.

    Marriage isn't necessarily the end goal for everyone. That's okay.

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  • Clearly something else is going on here. I think you might be reading too much into the whole marriage=life thing. When you are part of a couple and start having kids, your friend group changes. That's the reality of it. Only deep bonds survive the changes that life throws at you. But sometimes you just drift apart. That's okay. If she's a new mom, she is probably feeling very isolated and alone. You don't have to support her through it if you don't want to.

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  • Time to cut your losses and cut her off. A friendship should be 50/50 or close enough and actually be enjoyable which is clearly not the case here. You are not obligated to stay friends with her just because you have mutual friends, you don’t deserve random verbal abuse.

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  • Gay boys often get extra cunty when their girl friends are carrying...

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