Wrapping My Kids In Cellophane

I'm glad to see that you're one of few parents who is taking a stand and fighting against the norms of society. This generation may judge you, but future parents will love you. Everyone should feel free to raise their children the way they think best. Fuck the soccer mom life! Down with the man! I teach my kid to cuss, drink bear and graffiti city buildings! Kudos, Madame.

P.s. Have you tried shrink wrapping them with a hair dryer?