Would you wipe in this situation?

35 Comments

Imagine this..
You're awake early in the morning taking a number 2 on the toilet when suddenly you hear a loud crashing noise coming from outside the bathroom. You are home alone so you assume it's a burglar.

Would you wipe up? Would you flush? Would you get up and pull your underwear up or would you not pull anything up and go see what the noise was?

Take the time to wipe and pull up pants 89
Don't wipe and pull up pants 33
Don't wipe and don't pull up pants 6
Hide in bathroom 19
Wipe, pull up, and flush 31
Other (Comment) 7
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Comments ( 35 )
  • iEatZombies_
    11 years ago | pl

    Depends on how bad the poo is. It's likely I would just shove some tp in my pants, pull them up, and grab a weapon.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago | pl

    I'd come out of the bathroom ass first, pants down around my ankles. Sure my mobility would be down, but with a weapon of this magnitude at my disposal who needs to be mobile.

    Let the intruder get a gander of that and they would run for the hills never to return.

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    • disthing
      11 years ago

      "Let the intruder get a gander of that and they would run for the hills never to return."

      Like every woman in your life has done thus far :P mwahaha.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Its true though, this same technique though very effective with intruders has quite the opposite effect when it comes to romance.

        You live and you learn.

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  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    I'd assume it was my cat getting into trouble or possibly a housemate being clumsy. I would go about my business as usual.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Noooo, I want you to assume it was a burglar! What would you do!?

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      • howaminotmyself
        11 years ago

        I would let my attack cat take care of the burglar. No worries.

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        • Shackleford96
          11 years ago

          I must admit, pussies can be pretty intimidating :P

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          • howaminotmyself
            11 years ago

            Lol. They may look sweet and inviting but you never know when they might turn on you.

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        • Who_Fan4Life
          11 years ago

          Unless your 'cat' was a lion, lol....then I know I wouldn't be letting MY cat do the defending for me, haha.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    11 years ago

    Other: pull up and grab the 357, and prepare to defend my home as needed.

    why trip over my pants if there's an intruder? Pants can be washed.

    Neutralize the threat and worry about pointless stuff later.

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  • naturallyweird
    11 years ago

    I'd wipe, grab the crap out of the toilet, and run out of the bathroom to smash it into his face. Burglars have a hard time robbing when they have turd in their eyes, nose and mouth...it horrifies and frightens them. :3

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  • q25t
    11 years ago

    I'd kick off the pants and just run about naked. The shock factor may give me the advantage with the burglar

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  • davesumba
    11 years ago

    if it truly was the burglar that i have been waiting all my life to confront and going through the scenarios of how i would do so in my head on many of nights trying to fall asleep, then i would take a minute to wipe up, so I can be at 100% with no icky distractions for this glorious day. (and no flushing, I must not give away my position, the element of surprise is key for plan A)

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  • bumblecreek
    11 years ago

    I would definitely wipe. I hate the feeling of doodoo mashing between my cheeks.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    My father was military and when he was angry at me, he would do the whole drill sergeant thing where I would spend 6-8 hours cleaning (or from sun-up to sun-down) and if I wanted to use the restroom, I would have to ask him permission and that made things worse than they were so I would run into the bathroom, go as quickly as possible, and wipe very quickly.

    I'm trained to do it quickly. I'd wipe quick, not flush and grab a knife or a large object and call the cops before I go in there.

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  • kylecation21
    11 years ago

    I would wipe as fast as i can, pull up, and then go see what it was.

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  • Drakonski
    7 years ago

    Why do you gotta wipe your ass if it's an emergency? Shit, just pull your pants up and take care of the situation.

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  • Glumpo
    8 years ago

    OTHER: I'd jerk off to releive the stress

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  • Francophile22
    11 years ago

    Shove a lot of paper inside my underwear, get dressed, check things out, then flush, etc. later.

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  • Summer_Baby96
    11 years ago

    lol um i would take me dear time to be sure i was quite not flush cause well they could find me.but once i had the door open and knew it was a robber. id kick his or her ass! lol

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    I would take the time to wipe thoroughly, but do it was quick as I could. Then, I'd quickly wash my hands and hope that my dog would be there to protect me.

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  • Shackleford96
    11 years ago

    I find it surprising how many people chose the first option rather than the second. Vanity perhaps?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I'm sure, millions of years ago, homo sapians didn't wipe. I for one wouldn't mind feeling uncomfortable in the pants as long as I could live through the night to wipe.

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      • Shackleford96
        11 years ago

        Yeah, no shit.

        I would think defending my house/belongings/life is more important than wiping my ass immediately.

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  • PapzBSlim
    11 years ago

    I would at least wipe and pull up pants. It would take like 4 seconds to complete the task. Do not flush because the sound could give your location away.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    "The cleanest anus is ready for pants, but only in the most proverbial of senses"

    - Tommy the cat, MD.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    11 years ago

    Shut the bathroom light off and quietly finish wiping in hopes they wont find me and kill me.

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  • Imposturously_yours
    11 years ago

    Take the time to wipe my ass nicely.

    If the burglar is armed and his reaction is better than mine -there's a good chance I might die. Or have a dead burglar.
    But in the case of death -I would like to look my best.

    Flushing depends on the situation and my weapon -maybe I would to draw his attention. Maybe I'd try to sneak.

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  • kit291
    11 years ago

    I'm a lady i don't poop lol

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