Would you date someone who had a child in the previous relationship?
If someone had a kid already that wasn’t yours would you still want to be with them or would it turn you away?
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If someone had a kid already that wasn’t yours would you still want to be with them or would it turn you away?
The kid him/herself won't be a nuisance if he/she is well-behaved. I'm more worried about the family.
If you don't have kids yourself already then it will be really hard. Not impossible though, you could become one big happy family.
Just bear in mind that you are basically becoming a step parent. There's an awful lot of responsibility that comes with that. So if you really love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them then that's great, but if you're not prepared to get serious in the longterm then don't fuck around with it. It's not OK to dip in out of a child's life like that. They need stability.
I give preference to significant others who have no children because I think a relationship needs a good foundation before producing offspring.
Nope. I don't like kids and I have no intention of raising someone else's.
about five years ago i dated a lady with three kids. The good thing though - the youngest was 18 so it is not like the kids were in the way of anything.
The problem comes when the kids are still little.
My last excuse for a lover had a two year old child.
Yeah i am never settling for that type situation again. It wasn't just because the kid was constantly having a tantrum. This bitch was in pretty bad shape; an entire orchestra of bullshit.
There was -
1) The "dazed and confused in a constant cloud of cigarette smoke" section.
2) The "looked like a treasure troll on a bad hair day" section.
3) The "threaten to swallow an entire bottle of pills because she was depressed" section.
4) The "Still married to and living with ex" section.
5) The "talking marriage one day and wanting to break up the next" section.
6) The "Getting evicted out of homes every couple months for non-payment of rent" section.
There was more but I do not ant to bore the readers with 1,000 details.
Other than adoption it would be my only option for kids, but I'd prefer adoption. There just seems like there would be too much baggage, unless the other parent was dead. Even then you'd have to deal with grandparents.
You'll never be the main focus of the relationship. If you're okay with that than yeah I guess. But I personally can't do it.
If you're the kind of person that hates to be alone and needs a boyfriend/girlfriend. Than your SOL, now a days thats all there is for "the couples market" a combo "happy meal" you get a burger and it comes with a toy. If you want a mate child free you're SOL.
I love kids, but I feel like I'm too young to have one, so probably not.
I prefer not to date someone with a child. I have never actually been in a relationship with someone who has a child from a previous relationship.
If they’re a good person then why not?? Their kids other parent could have died for all we know.
You're right. As long as you ask of the other parent is dead and all of their family (uncles, aunts etc) then it could be good and a very worthwhile experience.
Having been a widower and then married again, I agree.
TS's comment is not not a completely unreasonable concern, because there is a risk that a surviving spouse might put their dead spouse on a pedestal. It's pretty damn difficult to compete with someone who's perfect and also dead so they can't demonstrate how they were just as fucked up as the rest of us. But I suspect that most widows and widowers get back in the game only when they've processed what's happened. That's certainly how it worked for me.