If that cut off from others part was like a long term thing, that is pretty fucked. I do feel OP is maybe exagerating how bad it was a little bit, so I don't like to assume the worst. But either way, it is a damn good thing she got the fuck out!
I did not invalidate her! I said it was a good thing she got the fuck out. Please explain how that is invalidating? Also, see my above reply to Ellenna.
I completely agree with your comment that it's a good thing that she got the fuck out! What I take issue with is that you said that you think she's exaggerating. Accusing someone who is a survivor of an abusive relationship like OP of exaggerating is an invalidating thing to do.
Do you really not think that people exaggerate on Iin? You of all people should know better. I regret adding that detail of my impression of the situation, when it does not change the outcome. Why do you have to be devils advocate and pick at the details? Does it really matter if she exaggerated or not? She got out and she did the right thing regardless.
Of course there are people who exaggerate on It It Normal, but I don't think that OP was exaggerating. My question to you is why do you think she was exaggerating? What did her post say to give you the impression that she was exaggerating? What good could possibly come from you accusing her of exaggerating?
I just shared what I thought, and like I said, I regret it. I think that a lot of times people make past relationships out to be worse then they are to make them easier to forget about. And when she says things like "he saw me as completely incapable" or "he was impressed when I struggled to lift 10 lbs" I start to suspect this. Like is she to incapable to tie her shoes? And if you are over 18 and struggle to lift 10lbs, you are super extremely weak, malnourished and or have severe joint or muscle problems that need medical attention ASAP and would make it impossible to live on your own.
I think poeple do like to paint things worse than they are sometimes, but maybe not this OP. It was just what I guessed. But either way, she didn't like it and she got out. The details donn't really matter too much any rate.
I wouldn't necessarily say that opinions need to be based on facts, but I do believe that accusations need to be based on facts. He calls it his opinion, but really it's more than an opinion, it's an accusation. I can see nothing in OP's post that would lead anyone to believe that she's exaggerating.
Sorry for the nitpicking there. I do think that it's bad enough that lots of abuse victims/survivors have to deal with gaslighting from their abusers, but sometimes they have to deal with attitudes of denial from their own families.
I want to let you know that I really respect, and appreciate your comments on this post! 👍🏻
Your the one that took my opinion seriously to begin with! Also, in a situation like this, how are you supposed to use facts to back up your advice? There was a study done on women in this kind if abusive relationship and the had them try different rehab methods and one worked better than the others?
Would all men see me that way?
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If that cut off from others part was like a long term thing, that is pretty fucked. I do feel OP is maybe exagerating how bad it was a little bit, so I don't like to assume the worst. But either way, it is a damn good thing she got the fuck out!
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RoseIsabella
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Ellenna
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palehorse
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Nope, I don't think it's appropriate to invalidate OP, by suggesting that she was exaggerating.
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Doesnormalmatter
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I did not invalidate her! I said it was a good thing she got the fuck out. Please explain how that is invalidating? Also, see my above reply to Ellenna.
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RoseIsabella
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I completely agree with your comment that it's a good thing that she got the fuck out! What I take issue with is that you said that you think she's exaggerating. Accusing someone who is a survivor of an abusive relationship like OP of exaggerating is an invalidating thing to do.
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NoLifer
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Doesnormalmatter
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I notice this website does that of the thing spoken about doesn't happen in thier own life. Like you are not me you are a liar mentality.
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RoseIsabella
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I think a lot of people in general do that sort of thing.
Do you really not think that people exaggerate on Iin? You of all people should know better. I regret adding that detail of my impression of the situation, when it does not change the outcome. Why do you have to be devils advocate and pick at the details? Does it really matter if she exaggerated or not? She got out and she did the right thing regardless.
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RoseIsabella
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Of course there are people who exaggerate on It It Normal, but I don't think that OP was exaggerating. My question to you is why do you think she was exaggerating? What did her post say to give you the impression that she was exaggerating? What good could possibly come from you accusing her of exaggerating?
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Doesnormalmatter
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I just shared what I thought, and like I said, I regret it. I think that a lot of times people make past relationships out to be worse then they are to make them easier to forget about. And when she says things like "he saw me as completely incapable" or "he was impressed when I struggled to lift 10 lbs" I start to suspect this. Like is she to incapable to tie her shoes? And if you are over 18 and struggle to lift 10lbs, you are super extremely weak, malnourished and or have severe joint or muscle problems that need medical attention ASAP and would make it impossible to live on your own.
You "do feel" that based on what evidence? I agree with your last sentence
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Doesnormalmatter
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I think poeple do like to paint things worse than they are sometimes, but maybe not this OP. It was just what I guessed. But either way, she didn't like it and she got out. The details donn't really matter too much any rate.
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Ellenna
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It may make you feel wise or smart to make uninformed guesses about people, but it's a pointless waste of time. Why do you bother?
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Doesnormalmatter
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Sorry for sharing my opinion! But I will keep doing it!
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Ellenna
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To be taken seriously, opinions need to be based on facts
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Doesnormalmatter
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I wouldn't necessarily say that opinions need to be based on facts, but I do believe that accusations need to be based on facts. He calls it his opinion, but really it's more than an opinion, it's an accusation. I can see nothing in OP's post that would lead anyone to believe that she's exaggerating.
Sorry for the nitpicking there. I do think that it's bad enough that lots of abuse victims/survivors have to deal with gaslighting from their abusers, but sometimes they have to deal with attitudes of denial from their own families.
I want to let you know that I really respect, and appreciate your comments on this post! 👍🏻
Your the one that took my opinion seriously to begin with! Also, in a situation like this, how are you supposed to use facts to back up your advice? There was a study done on women in this kind if abusive relationship and the had them try different rehab methods and one worked better than the others?
Yeah.