I can't help but wonder if this is the sort of thing, though, that is not meant to be strategized too closely. You seem to be trying to work this out like a game, as though you were plotting out Chess moves. This works well when you're dealing with games that have a limited number of possible solutions, but it doesn't always work so well with people. People are endlessly complicated, and most of us resist trying to be "solved."
I do agree with you that neediness tends to drive people away, and you should strike a balance between being available and appearing desperate. That might take some practice. Do you have a trusted female friend who might be able to work out some scenarios with you? A little role playing might help you to work through some of the possible steps in meeting someone and going through the various phases of asking them out, etc. She might also be able to pick up on some of the body language cues you've mentioned here, if that might be a source of some of the trouble you're experiencing.
Above all, DON'T over-analyze this, though. Finding love is a great deal like trying to get a stubborn cat to sit in your lap. No matter how much you coax it to come to you, it resists your attempts. Finally you give up the effort, and decide to sit down and read a book. Then, all of the sudden, the damned cat leaps into your lap, purring and friendly as can be. It's often when you relax and let nature take its course that things finally go your way.
Women running off/drifting away
↑ View this comment's parent
← View full post
I can't help but wonder if this is the sort of thing, though, that is not meant to be strategized too closely. You seem to be trying to work this out like a game, as though you were plotting out Chess moves. This works well when you're dealing with games that have a limited number of possible solutions, but it doesn't always work so well with people. People are endlessly complicated, and most of us resist trying to be "solved."
I do agree with you that neediness tends to drive people away, and you should strike a balance between being available and appearing desperate. That might take some practice. Do you have a trusted female friend who might be able to work out some scenarios with you? A little role playing might help you to work through some of the possible steps in meeting someone and going through the various phases of asking them out, etc. She might also be able to pick up on some of the body language cues you've mentioned here, if that might be a source of some of the trouble you're experiencing.
Above all, DON'T over-analyze this, though. Finding love is a great deal like trying to get a stubborn cat to sit in your lap. No matter how much you coax it to come to you, it resists your attempts. Finally you give up the effort, and decide to sit down and read a book. Then, all of the sudden, the damned cat leaps into your lap, purring and friendly as can be. It's often when you relax and let nature take its course that things finally go your way.