Women running off/drifting away

Hey buddy, I was working on an essay about Hans Christian Anderson and while I was looking at his story "The Little Mermaid" I found something rather interesting: According to the wiki, there is an anime adaptation from the 70's and 90's where the Mermaid is a young girl named Marin (sound familiar?) Not sure if this might be it but it seemed too coincidental to your character that you have dreams about. Anyway go look it up on Wikipedia, if you're interested. Can't say your obsession is healthy to be sure, but maybe after you see this it'll help clear your mind.

Oh yeah, also I posted this in your other story but it seemed pretty old, so I'm posting it here. Anyways good luck with your women troubles and I'm sure there will be that special someone for you. After all, there are millions of women out there that are all different.

Well, good luck to you. I hope you'll report back. I do wonder if the book that normal_guy mentioned is any good? It might be worth a look. Just for the heck of it, I've enclosed a link for his web site. It can't hurt to check it out:

http://www.datingtipsformen.info/?cp=t&gclid=CPLnjNWCjZECFQiXiQodlQzu-w

Potato: One thing I learned is that the higher your defense wall is, the easier it is to get someone. For example, when I was anti-social a few years back, I had TONS and TONS of women flocking over me. Mainly because I:

- Ignored them (to an extent.)
- Did not obsess over their beauty.
- Had an attitude of not caring weither I'm liked or not.
- Was mysterious (barely talked to them.)

The "defense wall" type of body language causes women to WANT you. I think it's because women don't like to big ignored and then they see a man with a high defense wall, it's a big challenge to them.

Maybe if I can look back at those years, but use a slightly different technique this time, it may actually work. It kind of reminds me of math. You may get half of the formula right, but you need the other bits and pieces of the formula in order to have success.

I remember one time there was girl that liked me in her 30's and she was being very very pushy. I mean, she gave me her phone number and everything. This was a turn off to me because the girl was being too forceful, and I could tell by reading her body language on what she was trying to do.

One thing I also learned is that words don't always mean everything according to socializing with people. People can "read minds" by reading body language, and if you can't show the right body language, it could be problems for you.

I now realize that women are reading body language rather than going by words a lot. So the key here is to use your head and know how to work with body language.

If I can somehow raise my defense wall and use the correct ways to show good body language towards a woman, I may have something going. But in the meantime, I need to learn new steps of women in the future.

"Captain Obvious" here -- but have you ever had an "exit interview" with any of these girls to determine a common theme? This can be difficult, as I'm sure you're reluctant to ask "why" and they're reluctant to be completely honest about "why". Still, if this continues to be a problem for you, the women who are leaving are the best source of your information.

We've probably already discussed this before as well, but it seems like you have a deep interest in anime. Do you belong to any anime fan groups? Again, I realize this is an obvious question; it just seems like one place you might meet a girl who would share your interests.

I really do hope you find your answers on this. I could feed you all of the usual lines about you meeting someone "when the time is right" and that you should concentrate on your school and/or hobbies now, etc. But the need for love is overwhelming at times, and it tends to take center stage in our lives at times when we may not even want it to. I hope 2008 will be a good year for you in this regard -- hope to keep hearing from you as well.

I assume you're dating girls in your same age range, which is the early 20s. Many people are still going through an "extended adolescence" at that age; still uncertain of who they are and where they're going in terms of school, work, friends, relationships, living arrangements, and so forth.

I really know of no magic formula for guaranteeing sincerity in relationships with the opposite sex. Most people hardly know their own hearts and minds, let alone how to effectively interact with another human being. This is why it's generally a good idea to let relationships evolve slowly over time, and in the course of knowing one another over a common interest, rather than getting together in an artificial setting like a dating club, where the emphasis is purely on making a "match."

I'm not familiar with the book that normal_guy recommends, but it might be worth a look. Meanwhile, I'd try to have a forgiving attitude towards the women who rejected you. Think of their initial interest in you as you would if they had seen something in a store that caught their eye that they wanted to purchase. They came into the store, took a closer look, checked the price, and decided against the purchase after receiving the additional information. This doesn't devalue you in the least, in my opinion. Perhaps they only had so much available in "emotional reserves" to expend and felt that they could not meet your requirements.

I do have some empathy for your situation, remembering my own college years and the long gaps between good relationships. Most of the men who approached me, in fact, were invariably trying to coax me into joining the local Scientology chapters, and it used to infuriate me ;-) I really do wish you good luck on this.

But seriously, Josh. Getting back to what Vi was saying, I think she's on to something, there. Subconsciously, I wonder if you're letting these women know that they aren't measuring up to this character that you've worshipped for so long. You were pretty adamant about it: you posted about her twice in long, loving detail.

I'm not trying to make light of it by bringing this to your attention. I'm just trying to inject some reality into your perspective. It may indeed be that you're picking women who are not available, but the next question becomes WHY are you picking such women? Or is it actually YOU who is not available? Just something to consider. It sounds like you really do want someone in your life, but you may be setting very high standards that will make it difficult for anyone to qualify.

I have to agree. When my girlfriend and I had a separation, just a fight sort. Then I never auctaly knew the girl that had and an interest in me. If girls feel they cannot have you (you don't care, are taken) they come to you like bees to a BBQ. Stop careing.