Wiping myself in the bathroom?

Most people prefer not to smell like shit.

Toilet paper then baby wipe. It's the only sanitary way to go. You'll be shocked and disgusted at what your best TP job leaves behind. Ick! You'll never go back to not baby wiping.

i hate it to, i want a Japanese toilet that does it for you and it is so much cleaner and no chance of faeces on your finger. eughhh, i hate toilet paper

There is a toilet paper out the with jokes and that on it . we got my uncle some , cant remember where from but some of the jokes are really good .

It shouldn't take that long. If your poop is too sticky and that's why it takes to long to wipe, then maybe look into changing your diet, or keeping it more stable. Too much fibre can cause this, especially if your body isn't used to it. Conversely, if it's too hard, then more fibre is in order.

Alternatively, you just get bored easily. You can buy toilet paper with a pattern on it, there are papers with a wallpaper pattern if that stops you getting bored. You really should wipe it though. Just gross.

don't wipe for a week and see how people react around you :-)

A wire brush works delightfully!!