Widower and her daughter

87% Normal
9 Comments

I am a good person! I met a woman and her 7 year old daughter (she's 18 now) and raised the child, working through so many issues she had to deal with prior to our lives coming together.

Her mother passed away due to a relapse on drugs and alcohol that occured while I was deployed. Myself and this child/young woman have been through so much together. I've dedicated my whole life to her!

As a young woman, her feelings changed towards me. She quit seeing me as daddy, and now see's me as the man she wants to be with for the rest of her life. A big part of the problem is that I have a dependancy on her. She tore down all the walls I had around my heart, and is the 1 thing / person I can let my guard down with.

I have a very deep love for her, to the point where I'd trade my life to spare hers. I cant deal with losing her. Their would only be an empty shell left.

I dont know what to do! YES, she's gorgeous, and she's also perfect. I've devoted myself to helping her be strong, have great self esteem, be brilliant! She's all those things and more!

I have a little $, and know guys my age (39) and older who keep sweet young ones... not that it would be that way, but i dont know.

I see her as a diff kind of beautiful. I can curl up with her and not be aroused, feeling only grateful and protective. She doesnt have the ability to stop romantic feelings from developing though, and had an orgasm once as i held her. I didnt tough her, or fondle her, it just happened. It alarmed me, I thought she was haveing a seizure, and once I realized what had happened, I was devestated!.

My own mother told me "theirs no blood" in a way that seemed dismissive and as if I'm over reacting in being so concerned. Should I actually agree to try and see? I dont know what to do!

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 9 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • appzo
    13 years ago | pl

    The age thing isn't too great, and if your feelings are genuine and hers towards you are too, then I don't see an issue.

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  • DOUWANNA
    13 years ago | pl

    I'm afraid her feelings might change one day, causing me ro lose her forever. Emotionally, I depend on her. She's my cure for a broken heart. Then theirs the shame! I still see the little girl who I read bedtime stories to, taught about bsby Jesus and said bedtime prayers with.

    Then again, I notice how perfect she is, inside and out too.

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  • DOUWANNA
    13 years ago | pl

    She's 18. Graduated 3rd in her class, is a licenced pilot for multi engine aircraft with instrument rating, and goes to a university thats very diffucult to get in to. But yes, I realize I'll get slammed! I just dont know what to do! I'm not even saying being with her is something I'd want. Is THAT even normal?

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  • DOUWANNA
    13 years ago | pl

    Im scared of that echo.

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  • Echoes
    13 years ago | pl

    Whatever you decide to do, just make sure she doesn't end up dying to drugs and alcohol like her mother.

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  • DOUWANNA
    13 years ago | pl

    Echos, me and her as a kid latched on to each other. I was a child alcoholic growing up, her father is on death row and she's never met him, and her mom was playing "fake it till ya make it." BUT, she didnt make it! It's a tragedy we share.

    What makes it tougher, is she doesnt have any other family, and my own family thinks I'm making an issue out of nothing. My mom says her love for me had changed into the "other kind" in her earlier teen years, and that it was blatantly obvious.

    1 of my brothers made a mockery out of it, and asked if she would consider a "not really uncle" and my sister thinks it's the most beautiful love story of all time.

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  • Echoes
    13 years ago | pl

    She's 18.
    Grew up away from her biological father.
    Lost her mother at a young age TO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL.

    The above facts having been stated, I don't think she realizes what this relationship might lead to. She graduated 3rd in her class, she must be smart but not necessary EMOTIONALLY SMART! You're an adult, maturer, wiser and you can control yourself and your emotions better than her. You're here asking for advice because you're afraid once her crush on you dies away, you'll only be her EX and her stepdad/guardian no more.

    One more thing,I don't know where you were deployed and what you went through and how that is still affecting you. I don't know what she went through dealing with her alcoholic and addictive mom how that is still affecting her.

    Move to another state, far away from here but keep in touch as a father or a guardian. Give her space to meet other men and hopefully get hooked on one of them. Find yourself a girlfriend, better off get married.

    Talking to a family counselor is a very good idea.

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  • Carolinne
    13 years ago | pl

    i don't know, just do it
    see what happens
    whatever

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  • theRealDeal
    13 years ago | pl

    How old is she? Your 39? It sounds kind of 'sick & twisted', but I think it really depends on her age, mental capability etc. I have a pretty good feeling you're probably gonna get slammed on here pretty good, good luck!
    Oh-ask a preacher, or 3! Lol

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