Why would a vain guy deliberately court a less attractive girl?

So say a guy is a 9 in attractiveness in his own eyes.

Why would he take a girl out for regular coffee dates, love bomb her and make her feel special if (in his eyes) she was only a 6, and over 30 years of age? Extra props if an oversized Bambi t-shirt is her answer to his Saville Row.

I probably needn't mention it but I'm talking about the kind of person whose no.1 priority is himself 🙄.

What would be the interest of such a person in courting an over-30 whom he regarded as being a lot less attractive than himself?

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Comments ( 66 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • My question would be be: Why would a woman date a guy who makes her feel like anything less than a 10?

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    • I don't know why the Disney song is floating around my head right now towards this question....

      🎶 It's a small world after all 🎶

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      • Nor do I. Comments like this one give me the jitters. Have you written it because you think you *are* the person we're talking about?

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    • Thanks, MonteMetcalfe.

      It's not that he makes me *feel* like less than a 10. I just know that according to that whole way of looking at beauty, a 6 is where I'd fall. And if he's as utilitarian about the way he deals with people as he appears to be, that's how he'd see me.

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      • Maybe you're just being too hard on yourself. If you don't feel comfortable around him then maybe he's not the right guy for you. Maybe go out with a guy whose looks are a "6" but you feel you can be yourself around. Then suddenly you may feel he's not a 6 but more of a 10 and maybe he'll make you feel like you're a 10. I suppose that's all that really matters anyway. Does that make sense?

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  • Maybe he thinks less attractive women have less chance to cheat on him, and dont believe women would choose to just control themself. Or maybe he is genuinely drawn to her, like for her personality. Maybe hes not actually as confident as he outwards try to look.

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    • Maybe... You know, I had really hoped that the fact that he had even looked at me, meant that he was serious and thinking long-term.

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      • Sorry to say, Ruthie, but he is looking for a worshipper he can hoover. A 6 is his best prospect.

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        • Thanks. If you're right, I think he might have felt intimidated. He wasn't well-endowed in brain smarts. I didn't mind so much, and certainly didn't try to show him up (I teach 11-year-olds for my day job and many of them aren't that intelligent either), but he might not have felt easy with the situation, himself.

          What is hoovering, by the way?

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          • Narcissists usually love bomb you in the beginning. Hoovering happens later. It’s a subtle form of emotional blackmail to keep you in a bad relationship.

            He may not have been a narcissist. I have noticed some of your defenses make it a little difficult to flirt with you. Next time you have dinner with a guy, see if you can unlock his emotional availability. You know, smile, be cute, project sensuality in the moment. BE a flirt; spontaneity is a good thing.

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    • Holy shit, you really don’t know how men think.....that’s a girl brain projecting...at best.

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    • Women only date guys cause they're insecure and guys give them attention.
      Men are EASY AF! Anyone could get a dick thinker bf cause they get sex out of a relationship and most women are too pathetic with low self esteem that they want a males validation cause who else better to give a poor stupid girl attention than a raging cock thinker who wants something to always stick his fugly boner into whme he wakes up in the morning 🤮
      I'm just stoked im better than most bitches out there and don't stoop as low just to gain validation and attention cause I'm an independent women who wants a heart connection.
      Thankfully I'm smart enough to see the bigger picture as I grew older and now I can go forward and make the right decisions and be with a women as women feel more with their heart not their dick as they don't have a dick !
      HAHA SHAME TO ALL THE OTHER WOMEN OUT THERE WHO DATE DICK THINKER MEN 🤣

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    • Maybe he's a dick thinker

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  • Could be because theres 14 other girls that are 6s that hes rotating through trying to have casual sex with. Could be a numbers game just to get laid.

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    • Could be. Early on he said he was a convert to Catholicism so I assumed he would be even more committed to chastity than people in my church (Anglican/Episcopal). I found this encouraging.

      But looking at the situation now, I am no longer sure that that's likely.

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  • Grunewald? It’s because women in his physical league don’t want him and his rotten attitude. Also there’s more to attraction than looks, I believe I remember you saying you impressed him with your soprano voice.

    I agree with Cuntsicklestick that you need to block him if you haven’t already, he’s no good for your mental health.

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    • Haha saprono voice more like her mangina

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      • The blossoming of a femboy’s boipussy into a strong mangina is a beautiful phenomenon, show it some respect you cretin.

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        • You just made me google 'mangina'. It didn't mean what I'd thought it meant. Thank you 💛.

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    • Thank you, Skulls. It'd be nice if you were right - it'd be reassuring to be able to pin down at least something as 'real' in this situation.

      There's no need to block him - he has ghosted me anyway. Though blocking him might help me to accept that it's over and stop me from contacting him.

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  • You gotta stop worrying about this dude. If you haven't already, stop talking to him. He's not of sound mind.

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    • Lol if I even tried to speak to him I'd get radio silence back; it's all I've had from him for weeks now so it's safe to say he's moved on.

      I'm trying to stop worrying, but dang... I hadn't been on a date since 2013 before he took me out for coffee. I started to think of him as a part of my life: that is, for a week or so, when I thought about my life, there wasn't just me any more; there was 'us'. For the first time since 2013.

      It's hard to stop thinking about him now, but it's my own fault I got carried away with a one-sided pipe dream. Hope is infectious. From time to time it clings to me and spreads even now, like mould.

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      • Im sorry to hear that thats rough. I think you should get out more it will make you feel better. And also when you are meeting a new guy focus less on whether or not hes gonna like you and focus more on whether or not you are gonna like him.

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        • Thanks. I'll do that.

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          • May not seem like it now but you dodged a bullet. You sound desirable ,the right one will find you. Don't dwell on that guy. Get out and about , join a club or take on voluntary work meet like minded (club) decent (volunteers) people. Peace ✌ and Love .

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  • He's probably looking for narcissistic supply.

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    • That's the theory I'm going with off-and-on for the moment. There's so much scope to be wrong, though.

      I watch a lot of videos about narcissism (as much for the advice, as for Les Carter's gentle voice and cute accent - even if his choice of title/focus sometimes seems a bit hucksterish), and they're gripping, but I'm cynical of some presentations. Sometimes I think, 'how can the world be divided into narcissists and non-narcissists, and how fair or accurate is it to make narcissism almost a synonym for 'human evil'? Is narcissism in its clinical form really that prevalent or systematically attached to vain, toxic people, and is it right to make the figure of the narcissist into a kind of 'bogey man', and make homespun diagnoses whenever someone makes us miserable enough?'.

      The case for this guy being a narcissist is compelling, but people are so complicated...

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  • Ruthie, sometimes I just wanna slap you!

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    • Here, *offers hand*. 💗

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      • Hahahaha! You're so lovely!

        On a serious note,we should totally exchange ESL (yours) and EFL (mine) tips and whatever!!

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        • That would be awesome!! There are quite a few teachers on here, aren't there?

          Do you teach adults or young learners? Are you with a language school?

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  • He wants to bully and hurt her😡🤬

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  • How about the guys that think they are all that and then some, just don't want anybody around them that may get some of their attention.

    If you're truly a 6 as you say, thats probably as good as he can get without surrendering any of his attention.

    I doubt you're a 6 though, don't be so quick to down yourself.

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  • He wants to be worshipped, I guess? Some people prefer relationships where they are not on an equal footing.

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  • Because he is up to sumfings

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  • Because he is emotionally insecure.

    I'd avoid him. He will not bring more than possible momentary joy to your life. It will fade quickly.

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  • I think it all depends on their levels of Communication. Maybe? Per se? I believe that their can be an Equilibrium in such a couple.. It's not definitely up to them though. I don't know.. Hmmm? This is surely a tricky one...

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    • Speaking of communication, I can't understand all of this comment, I'm afraid. Up to whom?

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  • Women only date guys cause they're insecure and guys give them attention.
    Men are EASY AF! Anyone could get a dick thinker bf cause they get sex out of a relationship and most women are too pathetic with low self esteem that they want a males validation cause who else better to give a poor stupid girl attention than a raging cock thinker who wants something to always stick his fugly boner into whme he wakes up in the morning 🤮
    I'm just stoked im better than most bitches out there and don't stoop as low just to gain validation and attention cause I'm an independent women who wants a heart connection.
    Thankfully I'm smart enough to see the bigger picture as I grew older and now I can go forward and make the right decisions and be with a women as women feel more with their heart not their dick as they don't have a dick !
    HAHA SHAME TO ALL THE OTHER WOMEN OUT THERE WHO DATE DICK THINKER MEN 🤣

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