Guys are insecure too, obviously I get that- Why not bring a friend with you yourself? Hang out as a small group instead?
You just seem too focused on the discomfort that this brings YOU rather than appreciating that some women want to play safe. Sure there's cellphones but take me as an example tazers and pepper spray are illegal ... I have NOTHING legal to protect myself with to take with me.
Sure you do. I don't need to bring all my friends. First of all, it's none of their fucking business. Secondly, I know how to defend myself. I have martial arts training. Third, I'm not a coward. Fourth, I know how to exercise good judgment. That will keep you safe at least 90% of the time.
I can't help but feeling like you are somewhat of a jerk and it wouldn't surprise me if you stay single for an extended period of time since you can't even see why girls wouldn't want to meet a stranger alone for the first time.
That's your opinion. I'm not a jerk. I'm a nice guy, but I'm not a sucker. I don't know if you know what Asperger's is, but I have it. Social situations already for me are awkward which is why them bringing all their friends is overwhelming.
I wouldn't expect you to understand if you're not educated on the autism spectrum. It's not something I can help, either, not that I'd expect you to give a shit. Most people don't.
I'm not dating anyone until I move to Thailand, anyway. I'm going moving over there in January to teach English to adults in Bangkok.
Over in Thailand, nice guys finish first not last, and Thai women don't mistake kindness for weakness and fall in love with dipshits, nor do they drop bombs on guys on first dates like some American women do. Thanks for your input, though.
Ahhh, now you make far more sense. You should have mentioned your diagnosis in the post. I have ADHD myself and most of the people I hang out with have different types of diagnoses themselves, so of course I get that part.
Sorry to say but getting understanding for something like autism is tricky since the whole social situation is difficult for a lot of people with autism to grasp.
My suggestion is for you to do what I do, If I'm to date a guy I inform him about my diagnosis and what it means.
Telling a girl that you have a hard time dealing with a lot of new people at the same time due to your asperger is totally fine to say.
If she runs the other way because of a diagnosis ...well at least you know before you guys gets serious!
If someone knows about your diagnosis they can have a better understanding of it.
May I ask how you expect to deal with a bunch of strangers when you find it hard to deal with a girl and her friends? Less pressure?
I don't tell them right away because we live in a very superficial society. I only tell strangers when I absolutely have to. The reason I don't tell women right away is because I'm afraid they'll react the same way I would towards some crackwhore with AIDS and three kids with some dipshit in prison with a tattoo saying, "Born to Lose," across his chest. They'll run away and flake out come up with every bullshit excuse in the book thinking I won't be able to connect the dots.
It's true, we do. But would you really want to be with a person who'd run from you because of a diagnosis anyway?
The right person would educate themselves and then decide if they are interested in being with you.
Why must women bring an entourage of people on a first date?
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Guys are insecure too, obviously I get that- Why not bring a friend with you yourself? Hang out as a small group instead?
You just seem too focused on the discomfort that this brings YOU rather than appreciating that some women want to play safe. Sure there's cellphones but take me as an example tazers and pepper spray are illegal ... I have NOTHING legal to protect myself with to take with me.
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Daugenstein2
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Sure you do. I don't need to bring all my friends. First of all, it's none of their fucking business. Secondly, I know how to defend myself. I have martial arts training. Third, I'm not a coward. Fourth, I know how to exercise good judgment. That will keep you safe at least 90% of the time.
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(s)aint
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I can't help but feeling like you are somewhat of a jerk and it wouldn't surprise me if you stay single for an extended period of time since you can't even see why girls wouldn't want to meet a stranger alone for the first time.
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Daugenstein2
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That's your opinion. I'm not a jerk. I'm a nice guy, but I'm not a sucker. I don't know if you know what Asperger's is, but I have it. Social situations already for me are awkward which is why them bringing all their friends is overwhelming.
I wouldn't expect you to understand if you're not educated on the autism spectrum. It's not something I can help, either, not that I'd expect you to give a shit. Most people don't.
I'm not dating anyone until I move to Thailand, anyway. I'm going moving over there in January to teach English to adults in Bangkok.
Over in Thailand, nice guys finish first not last, and Thai women don't mistake kindness for weakness and fall in love with dipshits, nor do they drop bombs on guys on first dates like some American women do. Thanks for your input, though.
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(s)aint
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Ahhh, now you make far more sense. You should have mentioned your diagnosis in the post. I have ADHD myself and most of the people I hang out with have different types of diagnoses themselves, so of course I get that part.
Sorry to say but getting understanding for something like autism is tricky since the whole social situation is difficult for a lot of people with autism to grasp.
My suggestion is for you to do what I do, If I'm to date a guy I inform him about my diagnosis and what it means.
Telling a girl that you have a hard time dealing with a lot of new people at the same time due to your asperger is totally fine to say.
If she runs the other way because of a diagnosis ...well at least you know before you guys gets serious!
If someone knows about your diagnosis they can have a better understanding of it.
May I ask how you expect to deal with a bunch of strangers when you find it hard to deal with a girl and her friends? Less pressure?
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Daugenstein2
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I don't tell them right away because we live in a very superficial society. I only tell strangers when I absolutely have to. The reason I don't tell women right away is because I'm afraid they'll react the same way I would towards some crackwhore with AIDS and three kids with some dipshit in prison with a tattoo saying, "Born to Lose," across his chest. They'll run away and flake out come up with every bullshit excuse in the book thinking I won't be able to connect the dots.
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It's true, we do. But would you really want to be with a person who'd run from you because of a diagnosis anyway?
The right person would educate themselves and then decide if they are interested in being with you.