Why is it not normal for a woman to date a younger man?

Most male celebrities are dating or married to women young enough to be their daughters or granddaughters.

Alex Trebek... Wife is 25 years younger. Married when she was 25, he was 50.

Jeff Goldblum... Wife is 30 years younger.

Billy Joel... Wife is 35 years younger

Rod Stewart... Wife is 27 years younger

Steven Tyler... Girlfriend is 40 years younger

Yet here I am 8 years older than my boyfriend and I'm getting nasty comments left and right, being called disgusting, a predator, his mom, etc. This isn't because I look older, I don't. I'm 31, he's 23 and no one ever knows there's an age difference as people think I'm early 20s (good genes) until they find out then it's nasty comments nonstop. I get it from friends, family, coworkers and even strangers and it's just so bizarre to me. He and I grew up with a lot of the same things and he's highly mature and professional so I don't understand why loving a younger man is such a sin? We're both adults, the age gap isnt even a gap as we never notice it..

Anyone understand this strangeness?

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Comments ( 17 )
  • litelander8

    No one on this site is going to judge you for that. Cheers to your happiness.

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  • Ellenna

    Anyone who gives a stuff about age gaps in other adult people's relationships isn't worth bothering about, ignore them and enjoy your relationship.

    I once had a Lesbian relationship with a woman who wasn't only about 10 years younger than me, but looked even younger and she used to freak out when people thought I was her mother. I thought it was funny, but she hated it.

    My current (more than 3 years now) bloke is more than 15 years younger than me and I don't care one bit.

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  • RoseIsabella

    A lot of people are massive assholes who believe in double standards.

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  • Boojum

    The answer is simple: the intelligence of your average bipedal primate ain't that impressive, and half the people in the world are even dumber than that. A defining characteristic of those of low intelligence is that they cling to conventional, black and white concepts of how the world should work because they find dealing with shades of grey and thinking for themselves just too damn difficult.

    What you describe is a clear case of double-standards, and I'm sure there's a lot of projection and jealousy involved in the reactions you get.

    No matter how they may justify what they say, I'm sure many of the women your age and older who make bitchy comments are actually jealous of you for having a boyfriend who's younger. Women younger than you making derogatory comments might - consciously or unconsciously - be annoyed at you taking a guy roughly their age off the mating market. And, of course, loads of people in their twenties believe they've got the world all sorted out, while they actually don't have a fucking clue, and many believe that anyone over thirty is over the hill. Their attitude will inevitably change once they hit that milestone themselves, but for some of those going through the prolonged post-adolescent phase, you will seem incredibly old.

    As for the older men who make nasty comments, the explanation is also very simple: they desperately want to believe that the natural order of the world is for nubile young women to find fat, bald older men incredibly alluring. A woman who's older than her partner is a challenge to this world-view that they just can't get their heads around.

    It seems to me that you need to toughen up and learn to shrug off comments from stupid people who feel a compulsion to shove their snouts into your personal life. Anyone who feels the need to pass judgement on the relationships of others is demonstrating that they're too damn stupid to have yet realised they have no idea of the dynamics between other couples, and they'd probably be well advised to spend more time thinking about what's going on between them and the people they profess to care about.

    What people say about your relationship is merely their opinion, not objective truth. You do not need to justify the choices you have made, and there's no point in trying to change their minds. The only thing you can change is now you respond to their opinions, and you need to recognise that their comments only have power over you if you allow them to.

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      Idk chief. Women don't pursue younger men to the extent that men pursue younger women. That's why the norm exists.

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    • Thanks for the great info, I appreciate it!

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  • JellyBeanBandit

    That's just inappropriate of them to make comments like that, especially considering how they're supposed to be your friends and care about your happiness. That's really bad of them. Plus anything less than 10 years isn't even an age gap anyway.

    I do find it sad though when there's a massive age gap between celebrity couples because it's so obvious that those younger women (and younger men) are only with those celebrities for their money.

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  • howaminotmyself

    Celebrities aren't normal people. They are not the standard for marital relationships.

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  • libertybell

    Eight years is nothing! I don't know how his uncle can say it's creepy.

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  • Clunk42

    Where are you when you get these comments?

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    • Everywhere. Family event, at work talking, if Im talking to another couple, if someone checks our IDs before entering a venue, etc

      One of my coworkers asked me something like don't you feel like his mom? That hurt a ton. Another one of my coworkers said that's a huge gap and asked why Im doing it like I purposely looked for a younger man

      A few of my friends and my family constantly tell me it's weird and his uncle has said in front of my face that it's creepy of me to date him because of my age

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      • LornaMae

        Well, you just tell those people you have a very good plan! The male and female life expectancy difference is something like 7 or 8 years, so why not choose a partner who will, at least statistically, live as long as you? There, problem solved! :D

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      • FromTheSouthWeirdMan

        Thats really surprising that you've gotten that much shit about it. I dont think it's a very big deal at all. Isnt that only like 8 years? My mom and dad are 10 years apart. So is my sister and brotherlaw.

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      • Clunk42

        Where do you live?

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        • raisinbran

          Wherever it is, she needs to move and break all contact with family and friends.

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  • Mammal-lover

    Ignore them. My ex was 20 years older than me. I'm attractive enough to get guys my age I'm simply not that interested. People who stress about age gaps are just ridiculous especially your small one

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  • DIO

    Why do you care? You can date whomever tf you want. Don't care what people think. He's an adult. Do what you want. You're not doing any arm to anyone. Fuck them.

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