Why does this happen to me

ha ha ha you made me laugh, You are perfectly normal . a whole alcohol industry caters to people who self medicate . do you really think they have sort of advantage over your problems. when i get like you , i try to fuck a stranger. It doensnt help but you get to fuck a stranger.

Maybe you could find a therapist.

I regret a lot if decisions I made in my life but you can't go back and fix them. I would suggest a reading called "yesterday today and tomorrow".

rebuild yourself with new throughts everything that happens is because of you no othersjust you and your minds in moment. everything that happens stay in you untill you change your view state and change that old politics in yourself.

I think you got some anger issues buddy. My friend had the same kind of frustration a few years ago similarly to how you described your feelings. He attended therapy, and he can control his frustrations a lot better now. Sooo please get help before it gets worse man

This isn't normal, it sounds like your depressed. Get help.

You're depressed. You should go out, see some friends or watch a movie but please don't stay alone.

It would help if you told us what's actually happened

SORT YOURSELF OUT