why does my bf always say we're gonna break up but

Um... I dunno, I think anyone can have this mode of thinking regardless of age or gender, but it does seem to be more prevalent amongst young people and young females in particular. I think regardless of age or gender a person ought to seek to nurture a sense of independence and self love within her or himself. A big thing for me is having a relationship with my High Power! It's important and necessary for me personally to make God my number one in order to quell my feelings of loneliness. I think a lot of people, young people in particular put their significant other on a pedestal. It's not healthy or appropriate the way some people seem to worship a boyfriend or girlfriend. When a young person tells me that he or she is simply cannot live without a boyfriend or girlfriend, and that said boyfriend or girlfriend is their everything it's not love, but obsession.

I think the more a person is afraid of being alone, and the more desperate that person is for love and companionship the more that person will attract unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships. Abusive people are attracted to lonely, desperate and vulnerable people, because many abusers are narcissists, and narcissists need to find people who will give them the attention they crave. It's unfair the way things are, but the more I learn about it the more it makes perfect sense.

I personally think that the best course of action is for an abuse survivor to seek healing and self improvement rather than to look for a new relationship. Until a person is better he or she will continue to attract and be attracted to unhealthy people and unhealthy relationships.