Why does it make me feel different? 23yr old virgin.

69% Normal
5 Comments

So, I'm a normal, 23yr old guy. Successful in studying, almost graduating, normal-looking, I have loved girls and have enough (female) friends. However, I never managed to really tell someone that I loved her and that I wanted to be with her. I think the fact that I have never had a real relationship, not even to talk about sex, doesn't make things easier. It makes me feel insecure. Added to that, in my group of friends it seems to be that sex is associated with success, which I think is weird. So this makes me think, why do I seem so much different than others?

Once, I've ended up in bed with a girl I met at a party (drunk), and I really liked her, we kissed and we fell asleep in each others arms, but nothing more happened, and I've never seen her since. Now I'm starting to think that I should just try to find someone to have sex with, just to get it over with. I think it would give me much more confidence. Friends tell me that I am too nice, and that I should be more assertive. It's true that I'm a bit scared about talking to girls, however I do sometimes. But then there's always this moment when someone has to make the first move, which I never do.

What do you think? Should I just try to find someone to have sex with, to gain confidence, or should I wait first and look more for someone I really want to have a relationship with?

Thank you in advance.

Is It Normal?
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • tigressdawn
    9 years ago | pl

    Nothing wrong with being a virgin. Sex is fun, don't get me wrong, but it's not a life changing experience. If you go out and just get some random girl, you'll likely end up feeling disappointed.

    Not to sound old fashion, but sex is an expression of love. Sex only feels as good as the emotional connection to it. If you are relaxed and in love, it's going to feel amazing. If you're nervous and doing it just to do it, it may not feel as great. What I'm saying is, unless you have a connection to the person involved, you're better off just buying a flesh light.

    In any case, just do it when you're comfortable with it. Why do your friends need to know what goes on in your private life anyway?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    3
    3
  • tripw7
    9 years ago | pl

    I understand you completely. Yes, I am older and have a wife that I love and feel very fortunate, but I didn't start out by getting with someone to have sex with. You have integrity, which is not too common these days. You will meet someone soon, maybe at a wedding like I did and we married a year later. We were probably the only couple that got married in that church that hadn't had sex before marriage, and I am proud of that fact. Wait as long as you have to.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    3
    3
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago | pl

    It isn't bad to make the first move as long as you aren't all rapey about it. The worst that could happen is some awkwardness, that is it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    2
    2
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago | pl

    I honestly think your school work should be your first priority and let the sex thing happen in it's own time. Rushing into it just to do it will probably end up an unsatisfying and disappointing experience. Be patient and don't let peer pressure push you to do anything. You are a long way from being a 40 year old virgin.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    1
    1
  • GreatArt
    9 years ago | pl

    Chivalry is alive yet.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0