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I know the signs but I don't understand why it happens. I understand that the person not putting effort in is toxic and a user but like why do they do this and why do those types of people bother bring in a relationship or friendship ??
It's really not complicated. One sided relationships are about gains. Think con men. Get what you came for, then walk away and burn them. You couldn't meet every person on the planet if you tried, so if someone won't bite there's plenty of other people who will. Even when it's not a willful con, it could be something more simple like "Dan always brings in donuts, so i say hi and make small talk but his donuts are all I care about." Healthy relationships are give and take, a two way street of mutual interest. If there's no room for you between them and what they want it was never about you and probably never will be. That's what makes it toxic - nobody normally wants to get screwed over.
From what I've seen.
Insecurities.
Hope you can 'change' them.
Think it's ' love '.
Feel sorry for them.
Don't want to hurt them.
Those are the reasons I have seen for a giver to stay with a taker for any length of time.
A good taker isn't stupid either they will use every psychological trick you can think of.
I'm guessing you are in a 'relationship' with someone and it feels to you like you are always doing the running, the first to text, the one who always proposes meeting up, even the one who offers to help them with their problems etc? It can be tricky, are they attached to someone else romantically? If so just let it go, you're always going to come out second best, to be the afterthought. If they aren't in a relationship then perhaps you are not putting yourself forward in a positive light, are you somewhat defensive, lacking in confidence? There's no overnight fix for that but I'd suggest you get yourself more of a life than what you currently have, this will build your self esteem and in so doing this should make you feel less focused on this one person.
So the selfish user can benefit. The other person might be too dim to realize it, or rely on them a lot and have to cope.
Describe what you mean by "One-Sided"?
How so?
What do you think is One-Sided in this case? Sorry I was thinking this was maybe a personal situation or something
People get bored, and then people want to get away from what’s boring them, and people don’t like to think that they’re the reason that person is bored but really it doesn’t matter because we all die in the end you either kill yourself or get killed.
What’chya gonna do?
What’chya gonna do?