Why can't i just say it?

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8 Comments

Ok so I have been with my bf for several years. It started out pretty disfunctional (both had recent traumas and were mutually using each other on some level) and there were lots of ups and downs and we just seemed incompattible. It is not like that now. We have it (90%) together, he's way way more loving and I'm way way more easy going. Sexually its good not great but sometimes here and there it is great. Hes working on being more creative and "pervy" as we say as a favor to me and because he says he also wants to "I really mean it" as he says
I think he does mean it, but the thing I want specifically, & obsessively, is to be spanked. Punished. For erotic reasons. Its what I fantasize about and I have fairly constant sex dreams usually not with intercourse. But just spanking my dreams are often frustrating and the spanker will stop short of striking me. Its awful. We just went in a sex shop where I hoped he would maybe have picked up on my many hints and suggestions or I would be more direct but neither happened. We got a cool movie and had fun sex. But I could tell he could tell I was disappointed. I feel I have made it clear short of a lecture or begging him. But maybe I haven't. Is it normal to struggle this much with coming all the way out of the spanking closet with your own partner?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 8 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • dinz
    9 years ago | pl

    Well here's a fact, we males SUCK at the game charades.

    Why don't you entice him into the act by buying a whip or what the hell you want to be spanked with and give him a little of what you want from him?

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago | pl

    Be direct with him in way he won't miss--and won't be able to resist!
    Wear a short skirt, white panties, and T-shirt no bra. Get him sitting on an armless chair or the middle of the couch. Telling him how sexy he is, pinch his nipples and take his shirt off. Whisper in his ear that you feel sooo naughty--and as your man, he needs to give you a goood spankin' to get you going....
    Quickly lay over his lap, look him in the eye, and tell him that you want to get even naaaaaughtier--but you need him to give you a REAL spanking to find out just how much naughtier you can get with him tonight!

    http://goo.gl/VtOZ1F

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  • Vivien5
    9 years ago | pl

    Hmm, I think that this is totally normal. To be honest, I don't know how much communication is between you and him. If you find it hard to tell him specificly what you like then put your fantasies on paper. Write plenty of them and hand them over to him and this way he'll know exactly what to do. If you like being tied to the bed, being spanked, talk dirty to you or behave in a hard way, tell him and I'm pretty sure he will do that for you if he's really in love.:)

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  • TTGL
    9 years ago | pl

    Just tell him to spank you. It's not difficult.

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  • tripw7
    9 years ago | pl

    Hey, I would do whatever you wanted if you would just tell me exactly what you want. Guys are not like gals in knowing what they want unless you tell us.
    Please tell him exactly what your fantasy is.
    He will do what you want, maybe at a less than hard "whip" at first. Once he gets used to it. Stand by...

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  • IsitUnique
    9 years ago | pl

    You should find a different boyfriend with the same personality... Honestly you're only hurting his ego every bit at a time. If I was your bf I would feel so pathetic... This is a difficult case whatsoever.

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  • 123Random
    9 years ago | pl

    Straight up tell him that it's a fetish of yours

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  • green_boogers
    9 years ago | pl

    Say, "I want to spank you for ignoring my needs." Then do it. Maybe his pleasantly tingling ass will wake him up.

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