Why autistic guys creep women out

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15 Comments

I got an autistic cousin, and he always has this way of creeping women out when he talks to them. The thing is is that he always tries to be polite and friendly to women, but he has this way, I've seen it myself, something about his facial expressions and the way he looks at the women is offputting even though he's obviously trying to be nice, and I've noticed that the women he talks to end up having trouble looking him in the eye and being friendly back to him as a result. He blames his looks, but it's not that, I've told him. He's normal looking when it comes to his actual appearance, but it's just his approach, his expressions, and vibe he gives out. He's not sure how to change it and I'm not sure what else to tell him on this.

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88% Normal
Based on 17 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    I've had the same problem with women and most people because of my autism. I seem to do alright with girls who also have a mental disability sometimes. Still not great at it but I don't care about relationships or sex anymore. Still would like to do something with life. Can't get a job or really fit into society even though I have put a lot of effort into it I am still told I am just not trying. I've played in bands and have a savant ability with music and playing piano. Has never made me any money and even if I invest my whole year into it I only lose everything which has happened several times. When I try to earn money doing something I often find myself having to pay to do something and never earning anything. I can't get approved to live anywhere and don't understand how to fill out paperwork. I am stuck living with my mother and am in my 30's and I hate living with her, and contemplate I would rather be homeless. I don't do drugs or and don't even drink or smoke anymore. I have spent my life trying to get jobs, girlfriends, shows for music, school, actually trying to do things only to be told I do not try when I see others who don't try and get things I would like to get. I actually seem to put more effort into things than most people. I don't even like telling people about effort I put into things because they usually still think I am not trying. That's why a lot of people with autism eventually kill themselves or go on a murder spree when they eventually snap.

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    • noid
      5 years ago

      This is very sad and must be so frustrating for you.

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      • [Old Memory]
        5 years ago

        I actually don't even like getting sympathy for it which is why I don't usually express the things that suck about autism, but I share insight so other people understand autism a bit better as it can be very socially disabling without most people even noticing you have a disability.

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        • noid
          5 years ago

          Yes, that makes sense. People are becoming a little more aware now but there is still a big gap between people who are autistic and people who are not, in terms of understanding and relating to each other. I have read a few good books written by people who have autism, sharing their experience. Those have been helpful and eye opening to me. It's too bad more employers etc. don't read them.

          Just wish life wasn't so hard for so many people and that it would be easier to have what we think we need/want.

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    • ThatsHowItIsOnThisBitchOfAnEarth
      5 years ago

      For what it's worth I'm a woman and you seem really cool. Even I have difficulty just making friends with other women (in fact I've never been able to yet). I have similar goals but with illustration rather than music. I just don't try at all most of the time because it seems extremely difficult to successfully get into the arts.

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      • [Old Memory]
        5 years ago

        Thanks. It's good to hear encouragement. I've been able to make friends but have trouble with the majority of people. I've been a bit discouraged lately because I spent a couple years being lazy after feeling I wasted my effort into stuff. The last few months I have been attempting to not being lazy again and have quit drinking and smoking and have been looking for a job and a house to rent and it's kind of depressing because I was happier not doing anything and am having the same problems again that I did before and previously I was chain smoking to self medicate my mood and thoughts, and am trying to do it on my own. It's difficult because I often want to give up, but I still haven't even when I really feel like it. I never tell people how I feel in real life so I use the internet. I've noticed when people open up to others how they feel they usually reject them by either saying they don't really feel that way and are saying it to manipulate them, or they just think you are crazy and avoid you. It seems always one of the two, so I like to spend a lot of time isolating myself as I don't really like people other than a few people I like to be around but still don't really talk to about myself.

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  • lonewolf1253
    5 years ago

    That's what autism is. The inability to communicate and take in information in a normal manner. It would creep anyone out. But, it's not his fault so go easy bro.

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  • horny_simpletons
    5 years ago

    Autism spectrum disorders affect everybody differently. He probably could benefit from therapy, that can help with social interaction. I'm an Aspie but my main symptoms are difficulty maintaining eye contact, sensory issues and tendency to go nonverbal under a lot of strain. I know an autistic man who is very friendly but he tends to overstep a bit, like asking me to hang out every day and repeatedly asking the same questions. He probably doesn't realize he does it so I just give the same answers every time. Tendency to fixate can be a symptom.

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  • Anonymous200
    5 years ago

    That's what Autism is-difficulty with social skills caused by a quirk in the brain.

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  • EscapedPsychopath
    5 years ago

    I feel like you’re talking about David

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  • geek_god_101
    5 years ago

    With all do respect, this question is bias in the sense it views through one perspective. Yes, I am being a devil's advocate but it is a necessary evil. What people (in this case women) don't understand is that without the necessary social skills, it is hard to communicate needs and desires appropriately. On behalf of ASD guys, I apologize if we appear to be creepers but that term is stereo typically offensive to use with autistic guys.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      After reading some of these comments, I'm thinking it's not my cousin's autism which is creeping women out. I think he's worrying too much what women think of him, and that's what is causing him to give off creeper vibes to them, because I see this uneasy nervous look in his eyes when he talks to women, like it'll be the end of the world if they're not friendly to him, and I guess the women see that because some of them do look creeped out when he talks to them.

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  • ThatsHowItIsOnThisBitchOfAnEarth
    5 years ago

    Autistic guys in general don't creep me out, in fact they tend to be easier to get along with than NTs in my experience.

    It really depends what the behavior is and if he's willing/able to change it, if not he should just find people who aren't creeped out by it. Has he tried girls who are also on the spectrum or at least have a better understanding of it?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      It may not be my cousin's autism which is creeping the women out then. Maybe, it's because he tries too hard to get a woman to show him positive attention. He tells me that he always worries about how every woman he talks to will react to him. Maybe that's what's making him give off those vibes and facial expression which is creeping the women he talks to out.

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  • redrainbow22
    5 years ago

    This seems like a simple answer, but he could try to gain confidence.

    And he shouldnt care what people think about him.

    He should just keep being his regular self :)

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