Let me start off by saying that yes, I did have a difficult childhood. However, after I became an atheist I was still the same person I was as a Christian: the belief made no difference to my personality or mental health. I did get better after antidepressants and therapy, but that's another story.
As for why I became an atheist, well I guess its somewhat complicated. My family is very religious and attempted to get me to become a Christian. My rational child mind knew it was bullshit, but I was also terrified of going to Hell, so I tried my hardest to be one. (For example, at a Sunday School meeting, the teacher was explaining to us the power of Christ and how he was tempted by Satan.She asked us if Jesus could really turn stones into bread and immediately everyone started saying yes and shaking their heads. I was the only one who said no and changed my answer when I realized what everyone else was saying.) I got saved and born again several times, and constantly felt fear that if I sinned, God was watching me. By the time I was thirteen, the indoctrination had finally sunk in and I became a fundamentalist Christian.
Sixteen rolled around, and two major things happened. By that point I had taken to studying and studying my Bible. Then I came across this verse "Wives submit to your husbands for they rule over you" or something like that. I was shocked and confused. I didn't understand how my God could condone such a thing. We had to be ruled over just because we were female? I prayed day and night. There was no answer. I refused to face that there was no one there, and no one could hear me.
A couple of months later and I still hadn't figured out the question. I asked about free will and other questions but no one could give me a satisfying answer. Even worse, I had developed a crush on my best friend, a female. The ultimate sin in my community.
I don't know what happened after that, but suddenly I sort of snapped. The strange thing was that it wasn't terrifying like one would expect, but liberating to give up my religion. I had been told that atheists had no morals my entire life, and I realized I could do whatever I wanted now. I raced to the library and checked out as many books on Atheism and sexuality (a forbidden topic until that point) as I could find.
That was four years ago, and not much has changed. Not sure if that answered your question, but at least I tried.
Why are you atheist? (atheists only please)
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Let me start off by saying that yes, I did have a difficult childhood. However, after I became an atheist I was still the same person I was as a Christian: the belief made no difference to my personality or mental health. I did get better after antidepressants and therapy, but that's another story.
As for why I became an atheist, well I guess its somewhat complicated. My family is very religious and attempted to get me to become a Christian. My rational child mind knew it was bullshit, but I was also terrified of going to Hell, so I tried my hardest to be one. (For example, at a Sunday School meeting, the teacher was explaining to us the power of Christ and how he was tempted by Satan.She asked us if Jesus could really turn stones into bread and immediately everyone started saying yes and shaking their heads. I was the only one who said no and changed my answer when I realized what everyone else was saying.) I got saved and born again several times, and constantly felt fear that if I sinned, God was watching me. By the time I was thirteen, the indoctrination had finally sunk in and I became a fundamentalist Christian.
Sixteen rolled around, and two major things happened. By that point I had taken to studying and studying my Bible. Then I came across this verse "Wives submit to your husbands for they rule over you" or something like that. I was shocked and confused. I didn't understand how my God could condone such a thing. We had to be ruled over just because we were female? I prayed day and night. There was no answer. I refused to face that there was no one there, and no one could hear me.
A couple of months later and I still hadn't figured out the question. I asked about free will and other questions but no one could give me a satisfying answer. Even worse, I had developed a crush on my best friend, a female. The ultimate sin in my community.
I don't know what happened after that, but suddenly I sort of snapped. The strange thing was that it wasn't terrifying like one would expect, but liberating to give up my religion. I had been told that atheists had no morals my entire life, and I realized I could do whatever I wanted now. I raced to the library and checked out as many books on Atheism and sexuality (a forbidden topic until that point) as I could find.
That was four years ago, and not much has changed. Not sure if that answered your question, but at least I tried.
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Anonymous Post Author
8 years ago
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You did thank you.