Well, I have to agree with wigsplitz. I don't really care if I don't get a gift on Valentines Day or whatever. And I think they build those things up so much on tv, that people begin to make such a big deal out of it in their real lives.
But I think whats happening with you, is that you're just approaching the wrong women. I mean, I don't think its that you're really doing something/anything wrong, but that some women are just bitches. And I don't think it has much to do with the hotter the girl is the bitchier, or the uglier the girl is, the nicer, because I've seen sweet pretty girls, and rude ugly girls. Its just that some women are real snobs who have huge egos. Whereas, other women don't automatically jump to conclusions when a man is initiating a conversation with them.
And I know this might sound a little weird, but I've noticed that the more confident a woman is, the more snobbish she can be towards the opposite sex. That is, if the opposite sex approaches them, they usually are the ones jumping to conclusions thinking; "oh, this perv is probably talking to me because he wants to have sex with me." Instead of the sweet girl who has low self esteem, would think, "Oh, he seems nice. He probably just wants to talk, no biggie." not really thinking so far ahead after one small conversation.
I don't know. I don't understand why some women are the way they are. And I'm kind of assuming what I said didn't really help you too much, because I honestly wonder the same thing. I'm sorry you and a lot of other nice guys have to go through that nonsense that some girls pull.
I've noticed the hot ones usually have little or nothing in general to offer once you get past the stylish clothes (that fit perfectly) and the makeup and the other bullshit they paint themselves up with. Its almost as if they subconsciously know that their looks are their best asset they have to offer so they do it in a way that its all you will notice. I also agree with what you said regarding confident women as well.
I will be honest I dont think the sweet girl has low self esteem, I just think they are a nice person, BUT to me it seems like today its not "cool" to be nice like that. Women are like encouraged to be standoffish. I mean I am a guy I would be lying if I said I wasnt thinking a little of how this women looks naked BUT it doesnt mean I am talking to her on the hopes we can get a hourly rate on a hotel room after a couple drinks.
More and more I dont even bother, the women I would physically be attracted (as I am in good shape and attractive myself) to would almost totally blow me off it seems even if they were single and interested like its the cool thing to do. Besides above and beyond that, what is gonna separate me from the other 4 guys (or more) that tried talking to them that day. Its just like fuck it.
Yeah, you're right. And while reading my comment over, I was wrong to say that nice girls have low self esteem. I wasn't really thinking when I said that, I guess. But I must say, I have noticed the same thing that you've noticed with the girls who wear the latest trends, and globs of makeup. Not all of them, but most of them, sometimes don't seem like relationship material, or even that smart to be quite honest.
However, I wouldn't say girls are encouraged to be standoffish, but I feel like when they're young they're told how to behave around the opposite sex(usually when they're pre-teens/teens), and to learn how to stand their ground. But then I also feel like they hold on to that thought as they enter into their late teens into their 20's, and take it to a whole different level when they're older. It almost seems like they make the men out to be like animals. But then another part of me is thinking maybe they're just very bitter women.
And you have a point about people feeling like they can't be nice. Sadly, that might be so. I was actually told by another girl that I'm too nice to guys. She told me that it makes it easier for them to take advantage. Maybe they're just guarding themselves, thinking that they're gonna get walked all over. Chances are its happened before, and they're carrying it forward as a lesson learned. It just sucks that the nice guys who approach them later have to take the blame for the acts that the asshole did before them. I think its pure bitterness that most women have, so they hold up walls afraid to let new people in. Its pathetic, but I don't know what to really tell you, but I wouldn't give up if I were you. Most people, if they do find you attractive, and they like you, they won't turn you away. I think you're just getting caught up with the wrong women. The one you'll find, you probably will have to do little to no work on. You won't even have to try. I think the women you approach almost sound like high maintenanced bitches, or at least they 'think' they are. Like they're too good for you. Psh... forget them. You'll get someone. Best wishes! :)
I would encourage girls to stand their ground myself if I had a daughter, what I was referring to isnt like what parents would teach a child to protect themselves, its more like what its "cool" to do now. You now, if a guy approaches you dont be overly nice to him, its cool to be more of a bitch, he will like it more. Its almost like guy's that will swear that they get more action by being assholes instead of being nice. And then on top of all that I have seen guys that are assholes that women find attractive for some reason, usually its the women I wouldnt want to be bothered with anyway since its the painted up ones we talked about earlier. But still, I mean whats the attraction to that crap, especially when that guy turns around and cheats most of the time, or they just cheat on each other. Like God he is so sexy! No he isnt and he isnt even confident, he is just a jerkoff. You cant tell the difference?? I mean even the better girls who wouldnt be like that are attracted to these guys, and then turn around with some kinda attitude like "you want a date with me? make sure you bring your checkbook" Like wtf? Sure thing your majesty. I cant help but think most of them deserve the jerkoffs, like it serves you right anyway. What did you think that guy was confident and sexy?? You couldnt see he was just an asshole?
I understand. But I wonder why all the time too. Like, why is it that some girls feel like being nice is a crime? Why is it that some guys find it easier to get the girl by being a dick? Why do nice girls go after assholes? Why do good guys go for the sluts who walk around with fake tans, mini skirts, and wear pounds of makeup? Why???? I don't know why. Nobody knows why. We're all asking ourselves these questions everytime we fall.
And seriously, with the way society is today, I wouldn't be suprised if people actually think its cool to be standoffish. And thats when you need to find the one who stands apart from the rest. The one who doesn't follow everyone else. I honestly feel like it has to do with the person. If they wanna go off acting like a bitch or an asshole just because they think thats the best way to get what they want, or b/c they feel more accepted by other people, then thats how they are. Followers. You've been coming across the wrong people, because I know it might seem like everybody is like this, but really theres some who just aren't. I know I'm not like this, and I'm overlooked not all the time, but have been before by some of the guys I've taken a liking to. I was pretty much pushed aside when some bitch in 4inch heels and a skin tight dress came like a tornado into my life. She totally snatched the guy I wanted, and it destroyed me. Trust me, it happens to many of us. And I do wish I knew why. However, I still think that a lot of these women are probably bitter from past heartbreak, and have their guard up. Although it still isn't right for them to give such an attitude. Its gotta be from some kind of bad past experience that made them this way. It must be.
v.v So I guess wearing heavy make-up and dressing fashionably and "painting yourself up" is what is required to be hot. I knew everyone that told me that I was hot was lying. Better go break the news. My husband should be ashamed for not marrying the Covergirl.
Being confident does not make a woman think that every man wishes to date her when he talks to him (y'know, because she is the Goddess of Beauty), it's conceit. And a woman doesn't have to have low-self esteem to be cool with men talking to her. Generally it's the women who go through men like playing cards and think that every man wants to get in through their pants to their Goddess-like vagina that has low self-esteem, otherwise they wouldn't assume poorly of people.
Why are relationships and dating such a hassle?
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Well, I have to agree with wigsplitz. I don't really care if I don't get a gift on Valentines Day or whatever. And I think they build those things up so much on tv, that people begin to make such a big deal out of it in their real lives.
But I think whats happening with you, is that you're just approaching the wrong women. I mean, I don't think its that you're really doing something/anything wrong, but that some women are just bitches. And I don't think it has much to do with the hotter the girl is the bitchier, or the uglier the girl is, the nicer, because I've seen sweet pretty girls, and rude ugly girls. Its just that some women are real snobs who have huge egos. Whereas, other women don't automatically jump to conclusions when a man is initiating a conversation with them.
And I know this might sound a little weird, but I've noticed that the more confident a woman is, the more snobbish she can be towards the opposite sex. That is, if the opposite sex approaches them, they usually are the ones jumping to conclusions thinking; "oh, this perv is probably talking to me because he wants to have sex with me." Instead of the sweet girl who has low self esteem, would think, "Oh, he seems nice. He probably just wants to talk, no biggie." not really thinking so far ahead after one small conversation.
I don't know. I don't understand why some women are the way they are. And I'm kind of assuming what I said didn't really help you too much, because I honestly wonder the same thing. I'm sorry you and a lot of other nice guys have to go through that nonsense that some girls pull.
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NeuroNeptunian
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I've noticed the hot ones usually have little or nothing in general to offer once you get past the stylish clothes (that fit perfectly) and the makeup and the other bullshit they paint themselves up with. Its almost as if they subconsciously know that their looks are their best asset they have to offer so they do it in a way that its all you will notice. I also agree with what you said regarding confident women as well.
I will be honest I dont think the sweet girl has low self esteem, I just think they are a nice person, BUT to me it seems like today its not "cool" to be nice like that. Women are like encouraged to be standoffish. I mean I am a guy I would be lying if I said I wasnt thinking a little of how this women looks naked BUT it doesnt mean I am talking to her on the hopes we can get a hourly rate on a hotel room after a couple drinks.
More and more I dont even bother, the women I would physically be attracted (as I am in good shape and attractive myself) to would almost totally blow me off it seems even if they were single and interested like its the cool thing to do. Besides above and beyond that, what is gonna separate me from the other 4 guys (or more) that tried talking to them that day. Its just like fuck it.
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Yeah, you're right. And while reading my comment over, I was wrong to say that nice girls have low self esteem. I wasn't really thinking when I said that, I guess. But I must say, I have noticed the same thing that you've noticed with the girls who wear the latest trends, and globs of makeup. Not all of them, but most of them, sometimes don't seem like relationship material, or even that smart to be quite honest.
However, I wouldn't say girls are encouraged to be standoffish, but I feel like when they're young they're told how to behave around the opposite sex(usually when they're pre-teens/teens), and to learn how to stand their ground. But then I also feel like they hold on to that thought as they enter into their late teens into their 20's, and take it to a whole different level when they're older. It almost seems like they make the men out to be like animals. But then another part of me is thinking maybe they're just very bitter women.
And you have a point about people feeling like they can't be nice. Sadly, that might be so. I was actually told by another girl that I'm too nice to guys. She told me that it makes it easier for them to take advantage. Maybe they're just guarding themselves, thinking that they're gonna get walked all over. Chances are its happened before, and they're carrying it forward as a lesson learned. It just sucks that the nice guys who approach them later have to take the blame for the acts that the asshole did before them. I think its pure bitterness that most women have, so they hold up walls afraid to let new people in. Its pathetic, but I don't know what to really tell you, but I wouldn't give up if I were you. Most people, if they do find you attractive, and they like you, they won't turn you away. I think you're just getting caught up with the wrong women. The one you'll find, you probably will have to do little to no work on. You won't even have to try. I think the women you approach almost sound like high maintenanced bitches, or at least they 'think' they are. Like they're too good for you. Psh... forget them. You'll get someone. Best wishes! :)
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I would encourage girls to stand their ground myself if I had a daughter, what I was referring to isnt like what parents would teach a child to protect themselves, its more like what its "cool" to do now. You now, if a guy approaches you dont be overly nice to him, its cool to be more of a bitch, he will like it more. Its almost like guy's that will swear that they get more action by being assholes instead of being nice. And then on top of all that I have seen guys that are assholes that women find attractive for some reason, usually its the women I wouldnt want to be bothered with anyway since its the painted up ones we talked about earlier. But still, I mean whats the attraction to that crap, especially when that guy turns around and cheats most of the time, or they just cheat on each other. Like God he is so sexy! No he isnt and he isnt even confident, he is just a jerkoff. You cant tell the difference?? I mean even the better girls who wouldnt be like that are attracted to these guys, and then turn around with some kinda attitude like "you want a date with me? make sure you bring your checkbook" Like wtf? Sure thing your majesty. I cant help but think most of them deserve the jerkoffs, like it serves you right anyway. What did you think that guy was confident and sexy?? You couldnt see he was just an asshole?
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I understand. But I wonder why all the time too. Like, why is it that some girls feel like being nice is a crime? Why is it that some guys find it easier to get the girl by being a dick? Why do nice girls go after assholes? Why do good guys go for the sluts who walk around with fake tans, mini skirts, and wear pounds of makeup? Why???? I don't know why. Nobody knows why. We're all asking ourselves these questions everytime we fall.
And seriously, with the way society is today, I wouldn't be suprised if people actually think its cool to be standoffish. And thats when you need to find the one who stands apart from the rest. The one who doesn't follow everyone else. I honestly feel like it has to do with the person. If they wanna go off acting like a bitch or an asshole just because they think thats the best way to get what they want, or b/c they feel more accepted by other people, then thats how they are. Followers. You've been coming across the wrong people, because I know it might seem like everybody is like this, but really theres some who just aren't. I know I'm not like this, and I'm overlooked not all the time, but have been before by some of the guys I've taken a liking to. I was pretty much pushed aside when some bitch in 4inch heels and a skin tight dress came like a tornado into my life. She totally snatched the guy I wanted, and it destroyed me. Trust me, it happens to many of us. And I do wish I knew why. However, I still think that a lot of these women are probably bitter from past heartbreak, and have their guard up. Although it still isn't right for them to give such an attitude. Its gotta be from some kind of bad past experience that made them this way. It must be.
v.v So I guess wearing heavy make-up and dressing fashionably and "painting yourself up" is what is required to be hot. I knew everyone that told me that I was hot was lying. Better go break the news. My husband should be ashamed for not marrying the Covergirl.
Being confident does not make a woman think that every man wishes to date her when he talks to him (y'know, because she is the Goddess of Beauty), it's conceit. And a woman doesn't have to have low-self esteem to be cool with men talking to her. Generally it's the women who go through men like playing cards and think that every man wants to get in through their pants to their Goddess-like vagina that has low self-esteem, otherwise they wouldn't assume poorly of people.