Why are people always so cool until you meet them?

77% Normal

Why is it that people are always nice when you first meet them,but as they get to know you they change and either start becoming assholes,or start taking you for granted? It's like when you start being nice to them they start percieving your niceness for either weakness or stupidity! It's like you either have to be a cold hearted bitch,or just never get to that level where you can dare be nice to somebody,in order for them to be right! Ice queen or nice,which gets better results?

Voting Results

77% Normal

Based on 26 votes (20 yes)

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Comments ( 36 )

SKDM007

5 years ago

its worse when theyre cool even after you meet them but something changes and they hate ur guts when you did nothing wrong, blame their friends

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- RoseIsabella
  
  5 years ago
  
  It happens. Yeah, when someone is so friendly that it feels too friendly like the person is trying to lick your asshole, or something, and it turns out the person is trying to sell some shit, or recruit you to join their church, and then when you say no the person acts like they don't even know you.
  
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- lolamanilow77
  
  5 years ago
  
  true but alot of times friends are cool,saying it's him
  
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Ellenna

5 years ago

You're mixing with the wrong people, change your friendship group: there are lots of people around who aren't like that.

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- lolamanilow77
  
  5 years ago
  
  i know but it just seems like the minute i go and believe in someone they let me down of take advantage of my niceness
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    5 years ago
    
    Beware of the people who seem too good to be true, the ones who are too nice, and act like your new best friend.
    
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    - lolamanilow77
      
      5 years ago
      
      You are sooo right, creepy!
      
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        5 years ago
        
        Thanks, those people are always the ones asking for favors. I used to know a woman who would use this made up word, voluntold, it's when someone asks you for a favor in a really manipulative way that essentially volunteers you to do the task. I hate that shit!
        
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- RoseIsabella
  
  5 years ago
  
  I agree with this. It seems like a lot of the people who are overly eager to please in the beginning turn out to be hella flaky. I think it takes time to make friends with nice people. I think OP ought to look for activities where he, or she can meet like minded people, but ought to beware of the ones who seem to want to rush into being his, or her new best friend.
  
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Meowypowers

5 years ago

People always put on a front and their best foot forward in the beginning. After some time of getting to know people that's when the realness gets exposed. Not everyone can deal with it.

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Lestat565

5 years ago

People in general are shit. People pretend to be what the other person wants but they can’t keep that mask on for long.

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- lolamanilow77
  
  5 years ago
  
  there are times when i've thought this same thing..people suck!!... but then just as i'm ready to swear off humans for good someone decent comes along and i'm right back where i started! such is life i guess
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    5 years ago
    
    Do your friendships and romantic relationships tend to move fast, or slow?
    
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    - lolamanilow77
      
      5 years ago
      
      definitely way too fast! but equally INTENSE... good AND bad!
      
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        5 years ago
        
        Oh yeah, it's really intense when people do that crap for sure. I had a friendship with someone like that for a year, or two, and it didn't end well.
        
        I dunno what it's like for guys, but I feel like this crap happens with women all the time. Maybe it's, because women tend to be the ones who are more involved in certain types of volunteer work, like in schools, churches and the like? I mean I get that they need people to help with the PTA, or church bake sale, or whatever, but I don't like it when people ask for help in a way that seems to presume that I'm going to say, yes. You know what I mean?
        
        I hate it when someone asks for a favor, and says something like, "hey, Rose, why don't you help us with the yadda yadda yadda"? In my head I'm like, "hey, asshole, why don't you ask me in a way that does presume that my answer will be yes"?
        
        Also, there are people who act like your new best friend, and then suddenly they're telling you that they sell Amway, or some shit. I mean, ugh... like what the fuck?
        
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- Ellenna
  
  5 years ago
  
  You're mixing with the wrong people too! Some people are shit and some are fake but I don't find the majority are, but then I don't expect perfection from myself or anyone else.
  
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  - Lestat565
    
    5 years ago
    
    I avoided people for the most part. Iv never expect perfection from people. Their imperfection is one of the few things that make them interesting. But I’m far from an idealist when it comes to people. We all lie. We all wear a mask. We can paint ourselves as caring. But we all slow down for to see the results of a car crash and we click away when we see starving kids on tv. And I’m just as shit as anyone else but I’m more honest about it.
    
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- RoseIsabella
  
  5 years ago
  
  Damn primates! I gotta say that cats don't lie.
  
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RoseIsabella

5 years ago

People tend to always be on their best behavior in the beginning unfortunately.

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- lolamanilow77
  
  5 years ago
  
  this is true
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    5 years ago
    
    Yup.
    
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Grunewald

5 years ago

Ugh. Rose is sadly right about people who are friendly at first turning out to be the worst flakes. Breaks my heart.

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- RoseIsabella
  
  5 years ago
  
  I'm sorry, sugar. I know it's a disappointment. I wish there were more genuinely nice folks out there, but when people come on real strong right out of the gate it's time to raise the some red flags. 😉
  
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- TheMightyOz
  
  5 years ago
  
  People who meet me know I am pathetic from the start. Somehow they can tell I can't get it up.
  
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sissycakes

5 years ago

basically people love hateful people or are afraid to mess with them. people basically know if someone like me is around that I will not hurt them or make them miserable for treating me like a bag of buns. That is the problem with most people, so they do. It sucks, but in the end the other person probably will hurt them, so they have to deal with that.

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bbrown95

5 years ago

I've been through this as well, it's being around the wrong people. It sucks because sometimes you don't know it until their true colors start to show, but there are good people out there who aren't like that.

For some reason, I have a tendency to attract people with issues and little to no other friends, I guess because I've always sympathized with and tried to help and give those people a chance, but those types are usually who end up like this. They have hardly anyone else or no one else for a reason, the vast majority of the time. It sucks, but I've had to leave a lot of them behind because they were so toxic even to the point of actively trying to make me miserable.

Also, the minute you notice people starting to treat you poorly or trying to use or take advantage of you, put a stop to that immediately. If you allow it, they will only continue to do it and see you as their doormat. This has taken me way too long to learn.

People are also always on their best behavior at first, and as they get comfortable, they start to test their boundaries. Some are way, way worse than others.

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- RoseIsabella
  
  5 years ago
  
  When you meet really messed up people you need to try to resist that saint/martyr part of yourself that has a savior complex, and wants to fix these people. Nobody can fix them, except for themselves, and God. If they don't put any work into changing themselves God ain't gonna hit em with a lightning bolt, and then make them perfect, because these people have that thing called free will, and they need to want to change.
  
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  - lolamanilow77
    
    5 years ago
    
    OMG RoseIsabella... i used to feel the saint/martyr thing alot and wanted to help everyone! i still do actually but am now much more cautious
    
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    - RoseIsabella
      
      5 years ago
      
      You have to be very cautious. Oftentimes it better to donate time, and or money to a reputable charity. There are people who are genuinely in need of help, but it's also not uncommon for many of those people to to dealing with serious substance addictions which cause awful withdrawals that can make a person willing to manipulate others to get what they want.
      
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  - bbrown95
    
    5 years ago
    
    You're very right. I've tried to help them to no avail, because they haven't really wanted to change.
    
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    - RoseIsabella
      
      5 years ago
      
      Precisely, that's why it's better to leave them alone.
      
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jethro

5 years ago

OK, what's the backstory on this post? I can only assume that you and some other 12 year old just met and then discovered that you both have a crush on the same guy at school. Now you are pissed because she is getting closer to your crush faster than you are. Am I correct?

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WeirdGuyFromTheSouth

5 years ago

Maybe you are nicer than most people so it seems weird when people do things that are not nice. Since you would be nice in those situations its hard for you to relate.

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- lolamanilow77
  
  5 years ago
  
  so i see, blunt.. funny.. and sweet.. thanks My life is Bebe Rexha's video, "I'm a mess"!!
  
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- RoseIsabella
  
  5 years ago
  
  You learn the most about people when a crisis strikes.
  
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[Old Memory]

5 years ago

I think maybe it is you

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Are You Normal?

Why are people always so cool until you meet them?