Why are girls so complicated?

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There is this girl I like that she actually doesn't know what she wants. Sometimes she seduces me, kisses me, hugs me.. but if I try to make a move on her she just gets mad. And it's not the first time that something similar happens to me. The problem is that if we don't do nothing, they say they expected more from us or that we didn't catch their signals. It seems that they expect us guys to know what they want. But why they can't just give you a yes or no? Or why she simply doesn't tell me if she wants something with me?

Is It Normal?
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  • ArmusWasTheFirstTroll
    8 years ago | pl

    I believe that many people watch to much mainstream media. Because of what is shown on TV and film, women tend to have these fantasies that their life mate will be unrealistically intuitive of their intentions. Also, this warped view of reality is not exclusive to women. I have met many men that are the same exact way.

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  • green_boogers
    8 years ago | pl

    Consider this. Try DOING something together that's action oriented. Perhaps a project, a small task, or something with a goal. Note how well you anticipated each other's efforts. Was it fun? Or did you get in each other's way?

    If you can enjoy working together, playing together will be easy.

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  • CountessDouche
    8 years ago | pl

    Well, why haven't you just asked her?

    Whilst she is guilty of sending mixed signals, you're just as guilty for accepting that behavior and not saying a word about it. If you're clear in how you feel about her, you should communicate that to her and ask her for some answers (she owes them to you, IMO).

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    • SecretIdentity
      8 years ago | pl

      As a girl who has had supposed signals misinterpreted, and even (multiple) flat-out denials cast aside, I think it's more likely that he is overestimating her interest in him and probably ignoring her hints of disinterest on an intimate level.

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      • RoseIsabella
        8 years ago | pl

        ^
        ^
        This!

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      • CountessDouche
        8 years ago | pl

        Yes, that makes sense. As a female, it's happened to me as well, but on the off chance that he isn't (and he did say that there was kissing involved?), I find that it's always better to be upfront. That would solve a lot of the problems brought here, IMO. At least if she tells him "no," he can stop persuing her and making her uncomfortable, if indeed the advances are unwanted.

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        • SecretIdentity
          8 years ago | pl

          I kissed male friends on the cheek before I realized they took it as a sign of sexual interest. And when they "conveniently" turned their heads to meet my lips.

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  • handsignals
    8 years ago | pl

    I'm going to be crucified for saying this but she sounds like a cock tease.

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    • TimmyTheTurtle
      8 years ago | pl

      *starts constructing a cross* where the hell are my nails? i bet crusades stole them -_-

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago | pl

    If I were you I would ask straight out what the deal is, but prepare yourself for the worst. If she rejects you be gracious about it.

    If my suggestion seems too daunting then just forget about it, and leave her alone.

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    8 years ago | pl

    A couple of possibilities come to mind.

    1) You two are probably very young and as such, neither of you have the experience to communicate effectively and properly in a relationship.

    2) You are completely overestimating her interest.

    3) You are completely underestimating her interest.

    4) One of you has poor communication skills in general or poor relationship skills.

    Ok 4 is more than "a couple".

    Either way, if you seriously want to know, your best bet is to just go directly to her and ask her just how deeply that she is invested into the relationship. She would be a fool to trip on you for taking her response at face value.

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  • Caps90
    8 years ago | pl

    Girls are complicated because we are indecisive. Guys are just as complicated to girls though as girls are to guys.

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  • green_boogers
    8 years ago | pl

    Why are girls so complicated?

    I don't know. The answer is far beyond the comprehension of the most prolific enlightened minds in the world.

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  • HeNN1diesdas
    8 years ago | pl

    Yes. Why can't they be just like guys and tell what's going on.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago | pl

    Not all women are like that. This behavior you are explaining is the behavior of children, which yes I would say more women take part in but not all women.

    The reason why you think it is "complicated" in how they behave is because you are looking at such behavior that is child-like from an adult and therefor try to rationalize it while excluding the idea such people are acting like children, so you exclude the answer which makes you unable to understand.

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    • SecretIdentity
      8 years ago | pl

      Yeah, it couldn't possibly be that he is misinterpreting innocent things as signs of intimate interest.

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      • [Old Memory]
        8 years ago | pl

        I'm working with the narrative that is being presented to me. If we were to have you idea of what should be the standard here with all posts on this site that involves people other than the poster then we wouldn't be able to post our opinions and merely respond with "You might me misrepresenting things! Therefor I can't comment!" rather than accept the narrative as it's presented on the offchance the person going through it is accurate.

        Also, look what I stated: "This behavior you are explaining is the behavior of children".

        I clearly indicate that I am speaking from the idea that what he said is true, which implies that if he is misrepresenting then my opinion isn't the same.

        I get it. A guy is saying a girl is acting a certain way and I said the girl is being childish for it. It's something I've noticed with you, you don't seem to like girls being in the wrong, but if the narrative being shown is accurate then my point stands. It is childish.

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        • SecretIdentity
          8 years ago | pl

          OP: "There is this girl I like that she actually doesn't know what she wants. Sometimes she seduces me, kisses me, hugs me.. but if I try to make a move on her she just gets mad"

          The fact that he likes her means he's probably going to take any little thing she does as a sign that she's into him too. What he calls seducing might just be him putting a spin on perfectly innocent behavior. Like, oh she bent over to pick up something...she must have really been trying to show me her butt. Our minds do that, you know. Girls also tend to hug and kiss their friends a lot and it literally usually means nothing other than hi!! Or bye!! Or I'm happy to see you!!

          Anyway I think the only conclusion that's fair to draw here is that there's a misunderstanding or lack of communication between OP and this girl. Coming out guns blazing calling the girl a child was not a very good call. He just needs to talk to her, ask her what's up.

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          • [Old Memory]
            8 years ago | pl

            Someone kissing and hugging someone is not a "little thing", it is not the norm amongst friends, especially when it is done to a male friend.

            You then compare intentional signs of affection with someone bending over to pick something up. You're reaching.

            No, girls don't tend to do this. I don't know if you've just watched TV too much or purely basing it upon how you are with your friends but it isn't the norm for girls to kiss their friends, especially if that friend is male.

            That isn't the only fair conclusion. She's showing signs of affection then reacting negatively when he does the same. What she is doing is not the norm and if she is the one initiating this then she is responsible for explaining if it is friendly or not, which she has not done.

            ...Just a side point, though. If it was the "norm" for girls to greet people with a kiss, without the person's consent, then you're implying that it is normal for girls to sexually harass/assault someone. Just sayin'.

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            • SecretIdentity
              8 years ago | pl

              "She's showing signs of affection then reacting negatively when he does the same."

              Another reason why it might point more towards him misinterpreting innocent behavior as a sign.

              Regardless, the best advice to give here is that these two need to communicate. She might be playing games. He might be misjudging things. They both might like each other but are both being childish and too scared to confront the issue. They need to talk.

              Not interested in discussing friendly hugs and pecks, sorry :(

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      • NeuroNeptunian
        8 years ago | pl

        I think he is just suggesting one possibility, here.

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        • SecretIdentity
          8 years ago | pl

          Suggesting? Possibility? It doesn't read like either of those things.

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          • NeuroNeptunian
            8 years ago | pl

            You're probably right. He sounds like a dick sometimes but usually his messages have more bite in them than his intentions actually do.

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