Why after immigrating 7 years ago is it still so hard to make friends?

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10 Comments

To whom it may concern,

I immigrated from America to the UK 7 years ago. My husband is from here so i have extended family, but i cant seem to get along with anyone but my husband (and even that's a push). I have worked in the same job for the last 3 years and get along fine with my co-workers, but never see any of them outside of work. I have to say living here has been a very lonely part of my life... I don't really care for getting drunk or drinking at all for that matter, and i'm beginning to think that that's what's been holding me back. It seems to be the thing to do in this country is get totally wasted every chance you can get. I'm not interested in taking up getting drunk as a hobby. So here i am with no friends to really speak of, and a husband who keeps asking me why i don't have any friends yet... The truth is i have no idea? Is this a common problem with people who have immigrated to this country or am i strange?

Thanks for having a read

P.S. I had lots of friends when i lived in America.

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Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Allegio
    13 years ago | pl

    do you have any sentiment with british?

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  • KM23
    13 years ago | pl

    It is very difficult to make friends in this country, I agree. I'm from the UK, and have noticed how unfriendly, negative and unreadable we can be. You're not alone - there is a guy from sweden who is in the same position who posted today also.

    I met a load of people when I first moved to London through groups, sports, language lessons, societies etc...

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  • karma_is_bs
    12 years ago | pl

    I'd say its normal. You are still experiencing a culture shock. Your heart is still in america. Have u ever tried hanging out with co workers outside of work? Like have u even made an atempt? Seems like they would really be interested if u were from the states...I'll trade you places! I looove drinking!!lol

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  • Joyless
    13 years ago | pl

    I'm from the UK born and raised and i just feel it's not been said what's wrong with drinking?

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    • KM23
      13 years ago | pl

      Drinking is very much a British/Australian thing.
      It's EXTREMELY unhealthy.
      Don't get me wrong, I'm a typical brit who drinks all the time, but it's not normal in the rest of the world.

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  • ComboBreaker
    13 years ago | pl

    Throwing ideas.

    There are many hobbies that can help make friends. Football or other sports, gyms, danceing, modle makeing, gameing or something i see alot of, kids. Having a kid helps meet other parents. What do you have in common? Kids... and what ever may be on tv or the internet at the time, aswell as other things. Though having a kid just to make friends might not be a good idea if you arnt planing on it anyway. You could try lessons on instruments or in a hobbie. Joining a club or group to do with hobbies or interests. Depending on where in the UK. Derby sometimes has camping music festivals.

    OH and paintballing... paintballing is a very good one. Nothing says wanna be my friend like a good aim. :)

    And the icecream van vendor. And TV repair person. For some reason we ended up playing on instruments for the day, saw the guitar and went for it. He was epic at jazz.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    Are there other hobbies - beside drinking - that would interest you & bring you in contact with like minded people?

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  • xino00
    13 years ago | pl

    it's normal.

    but don't know what to add to it.
    but i suggest you use Facebook to track down your friends.

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  • Ilovethearcticmonkeys
    9 years ago | pl

    My dad emigrated to the UK from NZ and he doesn't drink at all, he's very happy here. The British do love to drink but there is so much more to them than that, don't worry you'll find people soon.

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  • qawsedrftgyh
    13 years ago | pl

    Sometimes it seems that the best way to make friends is to have kids and join parent groups.

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