Thanks for commenting. Your perspective is very interesting. You made a good point suggesting that one of the important factors in this regard is whose needs are primarily being satisfied during the act. It definitely makes a difference if it is the woman who wants to receive oral sex for her satisfaction and the man is doing it just to serve her or if the man wants to do it more and he makes his own way. I completely agree that the situation plays an important role here. However, I guess it´s far less clear in most cases which makes it more difficult to make the distinction between the roles when it comes to dominance and submission. I think that power dynamics in relationships may be quite complex. For example, if one of the partners wants or needs something which involves both partners much more than the other, it may push them into a submissive position because they are kind of dependent on their partner. Sexual freqency may be a good example - if partners are incompatible, it´s generally the partner with a higher libido who is in a "weeker" position. As for your suggestion related to the level of desire for oral sex, the decisive factor related to dominance / submission probably is if the person makes their own way manipulatively or does it assertively or kind of desperately asks their partner for oral sex.
What you said makes perfect sense. Power dynamics in relationship will probably be closely connected with the dynamics of their sexual interactions in many cases and oral sex is not an exception.
As for the last sentence of your post, I completely agree. If a man has to ask for cunnilingus desperately or manipulatively, then his attempts at cunnilingus will not be perceived as a sign of dominance and in these cases probably nobody will derive much pleasure from the act, neither the man nor his partner. Then it might be better to give up this activity altogether, at least he will not lose respect in the eyes of his female partner who probably will not be aroused by submissive men and will prefer more dominant or assertive men as her ideal sexual partners.
If he cannot do it assertively (for any reasons which might stem from deeper levels of his psyche), then he must face the dilemma: lose cunnilingus or lose respect. It can be pretty hard choice for (submissive) men obsessed with cunnilingus...:)
The last sentence of my previous comment doesn´t suggest that the outcome of male high desire for cunnilingus is that his attempts at cunnilingus are likely to be perceived as submissive. On the contrary. What I wanted to say was that high desire for oral sex might have totally different outcomes or manifestations covering the whole spectrum of dominance vs. submission. I mean - he can make his own way manipulatively if he wants it more than the woman paying little attention to the fact that her desire for cunnilingus is not that strong (high level of dominance) or he can desperately ask the woman for it (submissive behavior). Doing it assertively is somewhere in between.
Who is more submissive during cunnilingus?
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Thanks for commenting. Your perspective is very interesting. You made a good point suggesting that one of the important factors in this regard is whose needs are primarily being satisfied during the act. It definitely makes a difference if it is the woman who wants to receive oral sex for her satisfaction and the man is doing it just to serve her or if the man wants to do it more and he makes his own way. I completely agree that the situation plays an important role here. However, I guess it´s far less clear in most cases which makes it more difficult to make the distinction between the roles when it comes to dominance and submission. I think that power dynamics in relationships may be quite complex. For example, if one of the partners wants or needs something which involves both partners much more than the other, it may push them into a submissive position because they are kind of dependent on their partner. Sexual freqency may be a good example - if partners are incompatible, it´s generally the partner with a higher libido who is in a "weeker" position. As for your suggestion related to the level of desire for oral sex, the decisive factor related to dominance / submission probably is if the person makes their own way manipulatively or does it assertively or kind of desperately asks their partner for oral sex.
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prasatko
10 years ago
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What you said makes perfect sense. Power dynamics in relationship will probably be closely connected with the dynamics of their sexual interactions in many cases and oral sex is not an exception.
As for the last sentence of your post, I completely agree. If a man has to ask for cunnilingus desperately or manipulatively, then his attempts at cunnilingus will not be perceived as a sign of dominance and in these cases probably nobody will derive much pleasure from the act, neither the man nor his partner. Then it might be better to give up this activity altogether, at least he will not lose respect in the eyes of his female partner who probably will not be aroused by submissive men and will prefer more dominant or assertive men as her ideal sexual partners.
If he cannot do it assertively (for any reasons which might stem from deeper levels of his psyche), then he must face the dilemma: lose cunnilingus or lose respect. It can be pretty hard choice for (submissive) men obsessed with cunnilingus...:)
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Anonymous Post Author
10 years ago
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The last sentence of my previous comment doesn´t suggest that the outcome of male high desire for cunnilingus is that his attempts at cunnilingus are likely to be perceived as submissive. On the contrary. What I wanted to say was that high desire for oral sex might have totally different outcomes or manifestations covering the whole spectrum of dominance vs. submission. I mean - he can make his own way manipulatively if he wants it more than the woman paying little attention to the fact that her desire for cunnilingus is not that strong (high level of dominance) or he can desperately ask the woman for it (submissive behavior). Doing it assertively is somewhere in between.