Who is in the wrong

So it was by partners bday today and I had asked him if leftover stew alright for tea tonight and he said "yea"..

****I am aware that I should have made him something good for tea****
But I did ask.. he didnt have to say "yea"

So he came home from work and went straight to bed.. a few hrs later when tea came around and he commented "it better be good" and when I said it was the stew he sorta cracked the shits.. I said that I asked if it was ok or not but he just asked if it were ok for me to have leftovers on my bday.. I just said I probably wouldn't have minded if we had leftovers (we dont have a lot of money atm so tried to make it spread over the wk)
He also complained he didnt have a present to unwrap even though I already gave him one and he complained about the other present that I gave him as it didnt fit and need to send back (complained as I got myself the same thing as was 2 for the price of $$$)
I made him trifle too.. and still wants more even though we havent got a lot of money atm...

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Comments ( 14 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Where can I find a translator for British to American? I couldn't possibly read that.

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    • I'm neither British nor amarican lol..
      It was sorta hard to explain so my bad lol

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    • I nearly gave up. If I was in a less patient mood I would have.

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      • Tried to update it 😑

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  • I know it's a sweeping generalisation, but one very annoying habit many women have is expecting men to read their mind. I'm sure it's due to women being much better at reading people than men, so some of them assume us guys are able to discern the distinct differences between fifty different inflections of "Yeah, whatever...". If we don't, then they assume that means we weren't listening to them or we just don't care what they said.

    In this case, your boyfriend is behaving like one of those pathetic, immature women. What's worse, he threw a hissy fit because you didn't make his birthday a huge thing. He sounds like he has an emotional age of about eleven. He also sounds pretty demanding, critical and generally needy.

    I suppose the only positive thing that could be said about him is that he did at least say what he was pissed off about rather than silently sulking in bed like a stroppy teen.

    This question resonates with me because I've been genuinely indifferent about birthdays for decades. A couple of years ago, my birthday passed without me, my wife or daughter noticing, and I wasn't bothered at all. My wife, however, gets a major hump on if I don't wish her happy birthday first thing in the morning, and she gets all teary if our daughter and I do something special for the day.

    I would suggest that it would be useful for you and your partner to have a calm discussion about communication at some point in the near future. I'd also suggest that you make a mental note that, no matter what he says in future, you need to make some sort of effort on the day, and you should probably make sure that any gift you get him is held back until then. I think it's pretty damn pathetic of him to make a big deal of it, but like they say, some hills aren't worth dying on.

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    • At least someone sees what I'm sorta dealing with here..

      You are very right in saying he is immature sometimes and very set in HIS ways.. we havent been to huge on the brays either and in the past in have had to make tea on my bday so honestly dont feel so bad about it but it was the way he went about it... what makes it worse is that I try and talk to him bout shit like this and he gets angry and expects me to do everything and know everything his way n what have you...

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      • Frankly, that sounds pretty grim, and I think you would be wise to start considering your exit options, at least in outline.

        I'm not suggesting that you dump him immediately, but if you're doing your best to communicate and he's doing the stereotypical male thing of stonewalling, refusing to compromise and he lacks the empathy to see things from your perspective, then I suspect your relationship is heading for the rocks unless he gets his shit together and grows up. Of course, it's entirely possible that he's too immature to do that right now.

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        • Its been on the rocks for a while.. more so now that I know hes cheated on me and o somewhat confronted him about it.. plus he does meth and hasn't stopped that even though I pretty much begged him to and hes said he would stop (been saying that for months now)

          I dont want to split as I don't have really anywhere to go.. got no job and have car issues

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  • Is this your first year together? If not wouldn't you know what he expects? Also does he go over the top for you?

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    • Nah this is our second year.. 2 beats each now.. last years was no different really.. maybe a bit llre organized and had money but yea...

      He does go over the top cause he is able to.. he earns *3 times* what I do in a fortnight so I cant spend that much on him and he doesnt get that

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  • Irish-est post on here! (second guess: Australian?) So was he drunk? Not even stereotyping, trying to read this post I almost felt drunk. Maybe he was implying sex. Seems like guys care less about birthdays than women do anyway from my experience

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    • Yea sorry it was hard to read.. I had a lot of stuff going on in my head n was trying to get it down lol
      But i am in Australia so your right there haha though he was not drunk either...
      We do the whole gifts n card thing but really theres nothing else.. not even a bday cake lol.. so other then the gifts we dont do much for our birthdays and he made it out this big thing

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      • I had to look up what trifle was (I've heard of it but never seen one), and it looks like it's good enough for a little bday cake!! :D
        As for the rest idk, maybe he was just tired and grumpy from work. sounds a bit childish to complain about any gifts

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        • Hahaha yea it's pretty good stuff
          Yea hes tired and starting to not like his job as much anymore cause of the stupid people that work there.. I just dont know why he is taking it out on me

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