Which useless superpower would you like best :d

First story of the day to make me laugh audibly! Well done. :P

I want the 5mm flying thing. Imagine how long my shoes would last.

If I could accurately predict the price of any food item 24 hours into the future, then I could enter the commodities markets and make a fortune. Not useless.

lol... are people reading the flying one properly? 5mm, as in less than a cm. Not 5m.

I don't think these are useless.

Is it weird that I tried to touch my face with my elbow?

Turning gold to lead. I could go to Fort Knox and ask them to wire me some cash or else... Lol

Fly no higher than 5mm because I would look like I'm walking but I'd be just flyng while everyone would be tired.

Ability to know when the answer is "None of the above".

This would actually let you know pretty much anything as long as you ask the right questions, so I'll take that.

What will the first digit of tomorrow's lottery numbers be?
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
None of the above.

What will the first digit of tomorrow's lottery numbers be?
1.
3.
4.
And so on.

If that's cheating too much, I'll just take the food price one and get rich day-trading commodities.

When you think about it though, nobody is looking at you when there are unmanned security cameras about.

Do a quiet night time break and enter, and you'll never get caught mr. invisaman

Flying at 5mm is still flying.

Obvious choice.

the ability to give people cramp

Not all of those are useless.

Flying... I'd be floating over the sea like Jesus was... no wait... he couldn't do that...

Flying. With that power I'd be tempted to be like marceline from AT and just hover everywhere.

Useless? You're kidding, right? I would make a shitload of money with almost all of those.

ability to fly but no higher than 5mm. haha that sounds like hovering to me

Give me the ability to know when the answer is none of the above. Given enough questions and answers, I could be insanely useful to science and be able to pull off some wicked party tricks.

Unscrambling an egg. I could have saved so so so many fried eggs this way. :P

I like the flying 5mm one too, I wonder if you could just "skate" across the ground. That would be cool.

Ability to understand and control worms would be good. Buy a farm, use the power of huge armies of worms to help you do awesome crop-growing stuff (I have no idea what role worms play on farms, but I have no doubt controlling them would give you an advantage). Failing that, start a touring worm circus and make easy money whilst seeing the world. They could also be used to traumatize your enemies.

EDIT: Damn it, just read the caveat in your question, so it looks like the worm circus is out based on the fact it doesn't have anything to do with traditional worms concepts. However, controlling worms would still be fun.

Ability to turn gold into lead, and diamonds into lumps of coal would be a devilish one. Take out a loan and buy a lot of gold. Then, find stores of other people's gold around the would and turn them into lead, causing the price of gold to skyrocket due to its scarcity. Then, sell you own gold for a massive profit. Repeat for diamonds.

The worm thing sounds awesome I'll go with that!