Which useless superpower would you like best :d

29 Comments

*keep in mind that the worms of the third option would not be any smarter, so you would only read worm thoughts and they would only understand worm concepts.

Ability to predict the price of any food item 24 hours in the future. 6
Ability to fly, but no higher than 5 mm. 30
Ability to understand and control worms. 9
Ability to be invisible when nobody's looking at you. 12
Ability to rearrange your freckles at will. 7
Ability to predict the precise moment when popcorn will start popping. 3
Ability to turn gold into lead, and diamonds into lumps of coal. 7
Ability to know when the answer is "None of the above". 7
Ability to touch your face with your elbow. 9
Ability to hear every mosquito within ten miles as if it were beside. 4
Ability to unscramble an egg. 13
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Comments ( 29 )
  • dappled
    11 years ago

    First story of the day to make me laugh audibly! Well done. :P

    I want the 5mm flying thing. Imagine how long my shoes would last.

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    • OswaldCobblepot
      11 years ago

      Forever!

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  • suckonthis9
    11 years ago

    If I could accurately predict the price of any food item 24 hours into the future, then I could enter the commodities markets and make a fortune. Not useless.

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  • flowergirl87
    11 years ago

    lol... are people reading the flying one properly? 5mm, as in less than a cm. Not 5m.

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  • NotFloydzie
    11 years ago

    I don't think these are useless.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Which one of them are useful to you?

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      • NotFloydzie
        11 years ago

        All of them.

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  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    Is it weird that I tried to touch my face with my elbow?

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    • NothingxCrazy
      11 years ago

      As soon as I read it I thought to myself, "so many people are going to try this.."

      It has gotten me in the past.. but I know better now that I'm experienced. Haha.

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    • Avant-Garde
      11 years ago

      I tried it too but with no success. I guess I'm just not that flexible!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      No, I was actually expecting that. Hehe

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  • GoraIntoDesiGals
    11 years ago

    Turning gold to lead. I could go to Fort Knox and ask them to wire me some cash or else... Lol

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  • SangoNyappy
    11 years ago

    Fly no higher than 5mm because I would look like I'm walking but I'd be just flyng while everyone would be tired.

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  • Couman
    7 years ago

    Ability to know when the answer is "None of the above".

    This would actually let you know pretty much anything as long as you ask the right questions, so I'll take that.

    What will the first digit of tomorrow's lottery numbers be?
    2.
    3.
    4.
    5.
    6.
    7.
    8.
    9.
    None of the above.

    What will the first digit of tomorrow's lottery numbers be?
    1.
    3.
    4.
    And so on.

    If that's cheating too much, I'll just take the food price one and get rich day-trading commodities.

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  • Nernums
    11 years ago

    When you think about it though, nobody is looking at you when there are unmanned security cameras about.

    Do a quiet night time break and enter, and you'll never get caught mr. invisaman

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  • Antir0b0t
    11 years ago

    Flying at 5mm is still flying.

    Obvious choice.

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  • kingofcarrotflowers
    11 years ago

    the ability to give people cramp

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  • anti-hero
    11 years ago

    Not all of those are useless.

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  • DolphinAngel
    11 years ago

    Flying... I'd be floating over the sea like Jesus was... no wait... he couldn't do that...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      You wouldn't be able to float over the sea. Technically you would but it wouldn't work because it's only 5mm, so with the tiniest water movement you'd get in the water.

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      • DolphinAngel
        11 years ago

        Well if I'd could always fly 5mm high I'd be on top of the waves all the time if I rearranged my height with each movement automatically ;D

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    • anti-hero
      11 years ago

      True. It is written that he could walk on water not float over it.

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    Flying. With that power I'd be tempted to be like marceline from AT and just hover everywhere.

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  • Unimportant
    11 years ago

    Useless? You're kidding, right? I would make a shitload of money with almost all of those.

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  • kingsleycrowne
    11 years ago

    ability to fly but no higher than 5mm. haha that sounds like hovering to me

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  • q25t
    11 years ago

    Give me the ability to know when the answer is none of the above. Given enough questions and answers, I could be insanely useful to science and be able to pull off some wicked party tricks.

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  • MissyLeyneous
    11 years ago

    Unscrambling an egg. I could have saved so so so many fried eggs this way. :P

    I like the flying 5mm one too, I wonder if you could just "skate" across the ground. That would be cool.

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  • dom180
    11 years ago

    Ability to understand and control worms would be good. Buy a farm, use the power of huge armies of worms to help you do awesome crop-growing stuff (I have no idea what role worms play on farms, but I have no doubt controlling them would give you an advantage). Failing that, start a touring worm circus and make easy money whilst seeing the world. They could also be used to traumatize your enemies.

    EDIT: Damn it, just read the caveat in your question, so it looks like the worm circus is out based on the fact it doesn't have anything to do with traditional worms concepts. However, controlling worms would still be fun.

    Ability to turn gold into lead, and diamonds into lumps of coal would be a devilish one. Take out a loan and buy a lot of gold. Then, find stores of other people's gold around the would and turn them into lead, causing the price of gold to skyrocket due to its scarcity. Then, sell you own gold for a massive profit. Repeat for diamonds.

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  • Short4Words
    11 years ago

    The worm thing sounds awesome I'll go with that!

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