One thing that I think works best for over-achievers is a simple phrase:
"I am very disappointed in you."
Those few words never fail to send me sulking to my room, mad at myself rather than the parent. I also listen exponentially better when more I-messages are used. They let me know clearly how my act looks to the other side, without causing any uproar.
What I imagine as my optimal method: Relief now, and clear plans for fixing it from that point on. If I'm upset and in tears, all I want is comfort and reassurance. I'm not able to reason with you yet. After we've all settled down, then we can explain everything and fix the issue.
Being a visual learner, I might be biased on this next one: Lists and written solutions really help solidify the promise to improve. They just seem more set-in-stone, and I can commit them to memory. Plus, you won't have to repeat yourself nearly as much.
That help? I understand it's nothing but a personal account, but even so - A look from the recipient's eyes may form the best type of advice after all.
Which punishment works best?
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One thing that I think works best for over-achievers is a simple phrase:
"I am very disappointed in you."
Those few words never fail to send me sulking to my room, mad at myself rather than the parent. I also listen exponentially better when more I-messages are used. They let me know clearly how my act looks to the other side, without causing any uproar.
What I imagine as my optimal method: Relief now, and clear plans for fixing it from that point on. If I'm upset and in tears, all I want is comfort and reassurance. I'm not able to reason with you yet. After we've all settled down, then we can explain everything and fix the issue.
Being a visual learner, I might be biased on this next one: Lists and written solutions really help solidify the promise to improve. They just seem more set-in-stone, and I can commit them to memory. Plus, you won't have to repeat yourself nearly as much.
That help? I understand it's nothing but a personal account, but even so - A look from the recipient's eyes may form the best type of advice after all.