Which punishment works best?

Fuck punishment, it just breeds resentment.

Teenagers aren't meant to give a fuck.

The belt

A good mom worked best on me i have been raised in a good way just like my sister and brother we are not trouble makes i have been from what i see both when im on a walk and on tv a unnormal teenager since i dont make any trouble at all...

A nice switch or a belt should do nicely.

He's just smoking and drinking but they are afraid he will get into drugs. Their older son died at 17 so they are freaking out.

"Gone of the rails"? What exactly has the kid done? Whatever it is, punishment rarely works on teenagers, we are rebellious by nature. He'll grow out of it eventually, but until then punishment won't stop him. All you can do is try and live with it, if you punish him he'll behave even worse.

Have them ask John Rosemond for parenting advice.

and if he's in SERIOUS trouble consider taking away all privileges (look up John Rosemond's 'kick them out of the garden of eden' approach).

- take away the bedroom door
- take away all possessions except clothes, bed, sheets
- no cell, tv, computer, books, games ... ONLY schoolwork is allowed
- no going out except for school etc.
- punishment lasts one month... and the counter is reset every time he repeats the horrible things that got him in trouble in the first place

that might fix him

Hard labor. Put him to work!

Let him make his own mistakes. That might be hard to do because if he gets in serious trouble, of course it will be bad but sometimes it's the only way anyone will see sense.

If he doesn't see the error of his ways after that, then really I don't know what to suggest.

i spit on my kids and molest them when they act up

I dont think anything really works on some teenagers, some of us just dont care anymore. My parents have stopped trying to punish me because Im nearly and adult (18 within a month and a half of this comment) and I dont react to threats of loosing my phone, or tv (my ipod and xbox were bought with my own money and I have threatened to bring the police in for theft if they were to take them). Many teenagers like my with depression/anxiety bipolar disorder, and other mental disorders dont respond to punishments, and are completely fine with leaving home and doing what we please anyway. My best advice for this is to physically punish them, but some may react violently in return. for these cases, its best to let them be angry but still instate your punishments of taking whatever it is will make them comply.

Sometimes people do things simply because they think everyone is against them, and if you punish them it is just going to make things worse. he isn't really a child anymore, he is a teenager. you need to consult a professional but that would probably hurt his self esteem. i am not really sure what to do. maybe spend more time with him, or tell his parents to. find him people that care about him. i don't know.

One thing that I think works best for over-achievers is a simple phrase:

"I am very disappointed in you."

Those few words never fail to send me sulking to my room, mad at myself rather than the parent. I also listen exponentially better when more I-messages are used. They let me know clearly how my act looks to the other side, without causing any uproar.

What I imagine as my optimal method: Relief now, and clear plans for fixing it from that point on. If I'm upset and in tears, all I want is comfort and reassurance. I'm not able to reason with you yet. After we've all settled down, then we can explain everything and fix the issue.

Being a visual learner, I might be biased on this next one: Lists and written solutions really help solidify the promise to improve. They just seem more set-in-stone, and I can commit them to memory. Plus, you won't have to repeat yourself nearly as much.

That help? I understand it's nothing but a personal account, but even so - A look from the recipient's eyes may form the best type of advice after all.

Beat their ass...

This is "isitnormal.com" not ask us to solve others problems for you com.

a casual curb stomping. jk. just take away their fun, assuming your a cool parent to lets them have tons of fun!

Kick them in the stomach.

Its not that any of these are more or less effective, there are 2 much larger issues to look at if any of that will have an effect.

Big issue number one:

Parents are under the strange impression that you can start setting rules and boundaries for their children "when they're a little older". This could be 3 or 10 or 16, but the point is, as early as infanthood parents need to be doing some form of discipline. Pro active is always better than reactive but not always possible. If you think you can let your kid rule the house and then suddenly expect them to listen to you after years of feeling they are in charge, you are sadly mistaken and face an uphill battle.

Enormous issue number two:

Parents will fail 100% of the time if they are not consistant with whatever form of discipline they choose to adhere to. Children first need to know what is expected of them, this is only fair. How will they know what is expected of them if sometimes breaking curfew isn't a big deal and other times they get in trouble? Likewise, how will you ever be taken seriously if whatever punishemnt is put in place, they are able to talk you out of? If it's no cell phone for a week, then no amount of screaming cursing or door slamming will get them their phone back.

***The problem isn't your child. The problem is you started trying to be view as the parent too late, and you aren't being consistant.***

a good spanking works wonders,what a pity it no longer happens.

One good smack across the face COULD work, but the kid is too old for that now. I don't have kids so my advice is worth nothing, sorry.

this is just crazy talk... but mabey try getting to know the kid? make him spill the beans and try to understand why he is being an asshole. People mainly try new things because they are either bored of it or its not working (in the kids case doing wrong shit). If you want the kid to understand something he first has to be taught.

I didnt get punished lol but im not spoiled so...they raised me well.

love and respect then theyll have something to come back to and live by , just an idea i dont know

they should just leave him alone and let him be.

decapitation

Most people go through the rebelious stage, it's not if they stay on that stage, It's if they get good at being on that stage that people consider the problem. If they grow up believing they can do what ever they want with no effective punishment then they become a danger to others and themselfes.

If he is breaking laws and he isn't learning from the punishments you are giving out then bring the law into the situation.

If i's just having a bad attitude then take everythin away from him, unless he has good reason to be that way.

No matter how many times my parents took away my cell phone, grounded me from tv, the computer, my gameboy, and anything remotely fun, told me I couldn't go over my friends houses, or tried to yell sense into me... not once did it change what I did. I was still a rebellious teenage girl.
I'm not sure anything would have worked for me. everything they did only made me even more angry and made me sneak out and lie more.

Now the question is, WHAT is he doing? It'll be easier to find a solution if we know what his actions are.

Nothing works!