I recently dated someone who has undiagnosed aspergers. I'd bet my career on it that he does. He is struggling to understand himself and I was confused while we were dating. His last girlfriend was convinced he was cheating because he was secretive and not spending enough time with her.
I can see your point and I wouldn't want to deal with that either. However, if I had known then that this is what the issue was, I could have better understood why he was so rigid about his routines instead of spontaneously spending time with me. And of course because of this issue, I had a close guy friend pounding into my brain, "This guy just doesn't like you." But I knew something else was going on, it just didn't make sense.
I think it's best at some point to tell the other person what is going on so that they know not to take things personally. I know it would have helped me a lot. And if that person treats you different and doesn't seem to see past this about you, then tell them this doesn't define you. If they still can't stop, they aren't the person for you.
We all have traits, preferences, and issues that make up who we are. Yours just happens to have a label.
When should you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend you have asperger's?
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I recently dated someone who has undiagnosed aspergers. I'd bet my career on it that he does. He is struggling to understand himself and I was confused while we were dating. His last girlfriend was convinced he was cheating because he was secretive and not spending enough time with her.
I can see your point and I wouldn't want to deal with that either. However, if I had known then that this is what the issue was, I could have better understood why he was so rigid about his routines instead of spontaneously spending time with me. And of course because of this issue, I had a close guy friend pounding into my brain, "This guy just doesn't like you." But I knew something else was going on, it just didn't make sense.
I think it's best at some point to tell the other person what is going on so that they know not to take things personally. I know it would have helped me a lot. And if that person treats you different and doesn't seem to see past this about you, then tell them this doesn't define you. If they still can't stop, they aren't the person for you.
We all have traits, preferences, and issues that make up who we are. Yours just happens to have a label.