Really? As soon as possible? I respect your opinion, and a lot of people would agree with you, but I don't know...
If I'd tell her that from the first date, she might treat me the same as my old teachers did. As if I'm an idiot. She'd be less likely to stay with me out of love, and more likely to stay out of pity.
Wouldn't it be better to tell her later on, since then it's less likely to alter her opinion of me? I mean, I have no trouble in landing a date, so... it's not like I'll end up forever alone if I don't ask for understanding.
Would you stay with her out of pity if she told you she had a condition on the first date? Most people don't work like this.
I'm not suggesting you force the subject in conversation, or necessarily tell her on the first date. It would probably come up naturally when discussing your past, so don't conceal it. But if you mention it early, you can explain about it and help remove any stigma she might have associated with Aspergers. It'll also help her understand any Aspergers related behaviour of yours which would otherwise seem odd.
Ultimately I don't think you should do it if it makes you really uncomfortable. But as it's an intrinsic part of you, any girl who falls for you shouldn't be that put off. As I say, if you were dating a girl and she told you she had a condition like Aspergers, would you stop dating her because of it? Or would you keep dating her out of pity? I doubt it :)
Yeah, but it's not the Asperger's that worries me the most. It's all that happened around it that bothers me. I don't know, it's also kind of private. Even is she does accept it, I don't feel comfortable discussing that sort of thing too early in the relationship.
Besides, Asperger's has got a REALLY bad reputation in some communities. Some people think we're idiots who call themselves 'aspies'. I hate that word. Sounds like a name for midgets in a fantasy novel.
And hell, check Neuroneptunian's comment. That's what a lot of people think about Asperger's. That we're putting on this label as an excuse for douchebag behavior. That's unfortunately what most people think about Asperger's. And truth be told, some of us ARE douchebags. Check this picture.
Yeah, some of us are fucked up. Sure, Asperger's has it's advantages as well, but it's not as if we have superpowers. There are sites which actually promote asperger's, and want to make a nation consisting solely out of people with autism because "we're so special and oh so smart".
Ugh... sorry, I had to rant about this. Luckily, some people with Asperger's are into self-development, instead of just asking the world around them to change.
But back to the girlfriend-dilemma: Even if she does have an accurate view of Asperger's, then I'm still not sure if I should tell her just like that. If I tell her later on, when I know we have something special, then she might feel appreciated. I don't trust just anyone with something I feel so vulnerable about.
When should you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend you have asperger's?
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Really? As soon as possible? I respect your opinion, and a lot of people would agree with you, but I don't know...
If I'd tell her that from the first date, she might treat me the same as my old teachers did. As if I'm an idiot. She'd be less likely to stay with me out of love, and more likely to stay out of pity.
Wouldn't it be better to tell her later on, since then it's less likely to alter her opinion of me? I mean, I have no trouble in landing a date, so... it's not like I'll end up forever alone if I don't ask for understanding.
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Would you stay with her out of pity if she told you she had a condition on the first date? Most people don't work like this.
I'm not suggesting you force the subject in conversation, or necessarily tell her on the first date. It would probably come up naturally when discussing your past, so don't conceal it. But if you mention it early, you can explain about it and help remove any stigma she might have associated with Aspergers. It'll also help her understand any Aspergers related behaviour of yours which would otherwise seem odd.
Ultimately I don't think you should do it if it makes you really uncomfortable. But as it's an intrinsic part of you, any girl who falls for you shouldn't be that put off. As I say, if you were dating a girl and she told you she had a condition like Aspergers, would you stop dating her because of it? Or would you keep dating her out of pity? I doubt it :)
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Yeah, but it's not the Asperger's that worries me the most. It's all that happened around it that bothers me. I don't know, it's also kind of private. Even is she does accept it, I don't feel comfortable discussing that sort of thing too early in the relationship.
Besides, Asperger's has got a REALLY bad reputation in some communities. Some people think we're idiots who call themselves 'aspies'. I hate that word. Sounds like a name for midgets in a fantasy novel.
And hell, check Neuroneptunian's comment. That's what a lot of people think about Asperger's. That we're putting on this label as an excuse for douchebag behavior. That's unfortunately what most people think about Asperger's. And truth be told, some of us ARE douchebags. Check this picture.
http://a2.twimg.com/profile_images/1525588692/You_have_no_idea_what_it_means_to_be_gifted_with_Asperger_s_Syndrome.jpg
Yeah, some of us are fucked up. Sure, Asperger's has it's advantages as well, but it's not as if we have superpowers. There are sites which actually promote asperger's, and want to make a nation consisting solely out of people with autism because "we're so special and oh so smart".
Ugh... sorry, I had to rant about this. Luckily, some people with Asperger's are into self-development, instead of just asking the world around them to change.
But back to the girlfriend-dilemma: Even if she does have an accurate view of Asperger's, then I'm still not sure if I should tell her just like that. If I tell her later on, when I know we have something special, then she might feel appreciated. I don't trust just anyone with something I feel so vulnerable about.