Let me assure you, I don't make it my identity. But honestly, if you spend four years having to hear how you're mentally challenged, devoid of any emotion, then it will get to you. That's brain-washing for ya.
I do work on myself. I don't play the social disorder card, otherwise I wouldn't go out and work on my social skills, now would I?
I forced myself to get out there. In the beginning, I just spend a lot of my time talking to strangers. It was awkward at first, but now it's natural. And a lot of people like to have a nice chat when they're on the train, the bus,... plus, I got rid of a lot of social problems this way. Most people would call me outgoing.
I know you don't mean bad, and I agree that a lot of people with AS just scream for pity, but seriously... this is the first time I openly talk about this on the internet. I'm not asking for pity. I'm happy with my social life, and I know that even though I have severe flaws, I still have some skills that others do not.
My only concern is that I do have some severe private issues, and I wouldn't have had them without my diagnosis.
I find it hard to be completely open about my past in a relationship. How do you tell this to someone? "Hey babe, I spent four years being treated as a crazy person, and I'm still traumatized by it."
If I tell this to a girlfriend, she either won't believe me (because it's seriously messed up), or she'll believe it and be immensely freaked out.
I try to become a better person, I really do, but it's hard. Asperger's is a very misunderstood condition. Mainly because all the self-diagnosing bastards who think they can use this as an excuse for being an asshole all the time. I spend a lot of time doing self-development, but allow me to whine about it. Just once.
I'm not inhibiting you from whining about it, dude.
And if you're going to get into the whole "I was traumatized" discussion with your girlfriend, then play it cool like that dude off of Twilight. He did it right. Hint at it every now and then and then when you guys are having one of those lovey dovey I wanna get to know you phone discussions belt out and see what she says.
Didn't see Twilight, so I'm not quite sure what you mean. I don't hate it because everybody else does, it's just that both the Fantasy and the Romance genre don't appeal to me.
Shouldn't I say it in person, rather than over the phone? If I'm going to trust her with something that's so huge in my life, I should do it in person.
But... I'm scared that if I tell her, I'll just get pity in return. I don't want that. I want to be someone she can count on, not some emotionally unstable wreck.
Then say it in person, your choice, but timing is key, dude. Sneak it into a conversation or something. But you might get pity in return... specially if your situation sounds pitiful.
I wouldn't be in a hurry to do it, wait for your relationship to become a bit more concrete and for you two to get to know each other.
When should you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend you have asperger's?
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Let me assure you, I don't make it my identity. But honestly, if you spend four years having to hear how you're mentally challenged, devoid of any emotion, then it will get to you. That's brain-washing for ya.
I do work on myself. I don't play the social disorder card, otherwise I wouldn't go out and work on my social skills, now would I?
I forced myself to get out there. In the beginning, I just spend a lot of my time talking to strangers. It was awkward at first, but now it's natural. And a lot of people like to have a nice chat when they're on the train, the bus,... plus, I got rid of a lot of social problems this way. Most people would call me outgoing.
I know you don't mean bad, and I agree that a lot of people with AS just scream for pity, but seriously... this is the first time I openly talk about this on the internet. I'm not asking for pity. I'm happy with my social life, and I know that even though I have severe flaws, I still have some skills that others do not.
My only concern is that I do have some severe private issues, and I wouldn't have had them without my diagnosis.
I find it hard to be completely open about my past in a relationship. How do you tell this to someone? "Hey babe, I spent four years being treated as a crazy person, and I'm still traumatized by it."
If I tell this to a girlfriend, she either won't believe me (because it's seriously messed up), or she'll believe it and be immensely freaked out.
I try to become a better person, I really do, but it's hard. Asperger's is a very misunderstood condition. Mainly because all the self-diagnosing bastards who think they can use this as an excuse for being an asshole all the time. I spend a lot of time doing self-development, but allow me to whine about it. Just once.
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NeuroNeptunian
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I'm not inhibiting you from whining about it, dude.
And if you're going to get into the whole "I was traumatized" discussion with your girlfriend, then play it cool like that dude off of Twilight. He did it right. Hint at it every now and then and then when you guys are having one of those lovey dovey I wanna get to know you phone discussions belt out and see what she says.
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Anonymous Post Author
11 years ago
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Didn't see Twilight, so I'm not quite sure what you mean. I don't hate it because everybody else does, it's just that both the Fantasy and the Romance genre don't appeal to me.
Shouldn't I say it in person, rather than over the phone? If I'm going to trust her with something that's so huge in my life, I should do it in person.
But... I'm scared that if I tell her, I'll just get pity in return. I don't want that. I want to be someone she can count on, not some emotionally unstable wreck.
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NeuroNeptunian
11 years ago
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Then say it in person, your choice, but timing is key, dude. Sneak it into a conversation or something. But you might get pity in return... specially if your situation sounds pitiful.
I wouldn't be in a hurry to do it, wait for your relationship to become a bit more concrete and for you two to get to know each other.