Thanks for reading! I couldn't go more into detail without going over the text limit. It's hard to explain this with a text limit, even if the text limit is 4,000 characters.
Basically Asperger's is a form of high functioning autism without the speech impediment. Right now my most dominant Asperger's traits are talking loudly and having a restless mind. Now, having a hyperactive brain may seem like a positive, but it isn't. I'm constantly sidetracked, and I find it very hard to find some peace of mind.
I want to be able to talk about it because it left a lot of marks. The traumatizing experiences gave me a psychosomatic disorder, which means I get (sometimes severe) physical pain in stressful situations.
Apparently, I constantly murmur about my pain in my sleep (along with the other bad stuff that happened to me). So I can't have anyone spending the night at my place without doing some explaining (it's also quite creepy, I'm afraid).
However, my symptoms aren't all that bad as they used to be. If I'm feeling well, you probably won't notice I have Aspergers.
But when I'm feeling extremely low (which happens more often than I dare to say), then it's quite obvious. I'm worse with eye contact, motor skills, social skills,... basically, I'm not clear-headed at those times.
When that happens, I usually want to be on my own for a while. Girls usually don't understand that, because most people want to be around their bf/gf all the time.
I've spent a lot of time working on my flaws, I spent a year forcing myself to constantly socialize with people in order to deal with some of the major problems. And luckily it worked, I mean, I'm capable of basic social stuff such as making new friends or getting a date.
However, as much as I try to be a good person, I still have severe emotional scarring. I don't feel comfortable opening up about this too soon, since it's all quite heavy. Hell, she might not even believe that all this really happened.
I've had relationships that went wrong because my gf felt like she couldn't get through to me. I'm still terrible at the more intricate social stuff, and that's not good for a healthy relationship.
Hmm, because of the sleeping issue, I would advise telling your special someone before they spend the night. It sounds like them spending the night could be a while, so if they're willing to wait on that without pressuring you too much, they'll be worth telling shortly before you do spend the night together. Just try to remind them when they ask why you hadn't said anything anything sooner that you're showing them you trust them at that stage, which is a big step for you; especially based on your past.
Also, I completely believe how difficult people have probably made your life.
Thanks, man! (or lady, I can't guess by your username)
It's probably best for me to follow your advice, instead of telling it at the first date (as most people suggested for me). It seems like that's a good time to be open towards each other.
Glad I could help.
It's quite a bit more pressure than someone might imagine to tell someone something about yourself that others had criticised you for. It breaks that form of trust with people; making a trust one must earn. Just take your time. When they trust you enough not to pressure you, you can trust them enough to tell the truth.
oh i see , that was interesting, to yr question i would tell the girl early on but not too early, get her to know u a bit first, she will probly have things to share as well, fears hopes etc, good luck to u
When should you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend you have asperger's?
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Thanks for reading! I couldn't go more into detail without going over the text limit. It's hard to explain this with a text limit, even if the text limit is 4,000 characters.
Basically Asperger's is a form of high functioning autism without the speech impediment. Right now my most dominant Asperger's traits are talking loudly and having a restless mind. Now, having a hyperactive brain may seem like a positive, but it isn't. I'm constantly sidetracked, and I find it very hard to find some peace of mind.
I want to be able to talk about it because it left a lot of marks. The traumatizing experiences gave me a psychosomatic disorder, which means I get (sometimes severe) physical pain in stressful situations.
Apparently, I constantly murmur about my pain in my sleep (along with the other bad stuff that happened to me). So I can't have anyone spending the night at my place without doing some explaining (it's also quite creepy, I'm afraid).
However, my symptoms aren't all that bad as they used to be. If I'm feeling well, you probably won't notice I have Aspergers.
But when I'm feeling extremely low (which happens more often than I dare to say), then it's quite obvious. I'm worse with eye contact, motor skills, social skills,... basically, I'm not clear-headed at those times.
When that happens, I usually want to be on my own for a while. Girls usually don't understand that, because most people want to be around their bf/gf all the time.
I've spent a lot of time working on my flaws, I spent a year forcing myself to constantly socialize with people in order to deal with some of the major problems. And luckily it worked, I mean, I'm capable of basic social stuff such as making new friends or getting a date.
However, as much as I try to be a good person, I still have severe emotional scarring. I don't feel comfortable opening up about this too soon, since it's all quite heavy. Hell, she might not even believe that all this really happened.
I've had relationships that went wrong because my gf felt like she couldn't get through to me. I'm still terrible at the more intricate social stuff, and that's not good for a healthy relationship.
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Hmm, because of the sleeping issue, I would advise telling your special someone before they spend the night. It sounds like them spending the night could be a while, so if they're willing to wait on that without pressuring you too much, they'll be worth telling shortly before you do spend the night together. Just try to remind them when they ask why you hadn't said anything anything sooner that you're showing them you trust them at that stage, which is a big step for you; especially based on your past.
Also, I completely believe how difficult people have probably made your life.
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Thanks, man! (or lady, I can't guess by your username)
It's probably best for me to follow your advice, instead of telling it at the first date (as most people suggested for me). It seems like that's a good time to be open towards each other.
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Glad I could help.
It's quite a bit more pressure than someone might imagine to tell someone something about yourself that others had criticised you for. It breaks that form of trust with people; making a trust one must earn. Just take your time. When they trust you enough not to pressure you, you can trust them enough to tell the truth.
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Thanks :)
oh i see , that was interesting, to yr question i would tell the girl early on but not too early, get her to know u a bit first, she will probly have things to share as well, fears hopes etc, good luck to u
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Thanks, splashy! :)