Disclaimer: I did not read all of your Proust-length novel. Sorry.
If you're dating somebody and either they can't tell that you interact with people differently OR they notice and don't mind, I don't see what difference it would make. I've known people with Asperger's, and it's quite obvious to most. I suppose it depends on the degree of severity, but if it's so slight that your partner doesn't notice - who cares?
That's alright, I don't expect many people to read the text. I just wrote it for the sake of other people who might be interested in the condition.
The people I know can only notice my Asperger's when I'm feeling down. If I'm feeling alright, then they think I'm almost as normal as the next guy.
I've had some traumatic experiences that had to do with my Asperger's. It's played a major part in my life, so I feel like I have to share it at some point.
However, I don't want to tell it too early. There's a lot of misinformation about it on the internet, and I don't want her to get a wrong image about me. I'm afraid she'll stop seeing me as the boy she likes and start seeing me as 'some weirdo with Asperger's'
You should tell them when you feel they're tagging on to the idea something's a bit different, but not too late because they may have fallen in love with someone they thought you were.
I don't really blame you for not wanting to tell anyone about you having Asperger's. Hell... My own family didn't even tell me that I had it. It wasn't until after I graduated high school that my mom told me that I had Asperger's. She didn't get any tests or anything done while I was young for it because there are a few others in my family that have it.
So my entire life I never really got any help for it. I grew up feeling outcasted and picked on (a little bit) and never really had any friends. This translated into me having severe anger issues along with depression and suicidal tendencies back in elementary school.
I have a girlfriend now and I told her after just a few weeks because we had been friends for about a year or two prior to dating. She was extremely supportive about it and even tried to help me find ways with coping with it and looking for help in my area.
So what I guess I'm trying to get at is... DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT SO MUCH. You may not believe it, but most people are fine or supportive about it. If they don't know what it is, explain it to them. It's essentially a form of autism where we excel in various subjects and are fairly intelligent or really intelligent but tend to lack social skills and tend to not be able to relate emotionally to others.
Us Aspies learn to cope with and fight against what we lack in in different ways. For me, I learned most of my social skills from people watching and can tell what most people are implying simply from their body language and tone of voice... but I am a little slower and lacking when it comes to actual conversations.
Main point of all of this....
TELL THEM WHEN YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE ENOUGH WITH THEM...
p.s. Sorry for having such a massive comment. And I didn't realize how old this topic was. >.<
When should you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend you have asperger's?
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Disclaimer: I did not read all of your Proust-length novel. Sorry.
If you're dating somebody and either they can't tell that you interact with people differently OR they notice and don't mind, I don't see what difference it would make. I've known people with Asperger's, and it's quite obvious to most. I suppose it depends on the degree of severity, but if it's so slight that your partner doesn't notice - who cares?
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That's alright, I don't expect many people to read the text. I just wrote it for the sake of other people who might be interested in the condition.
The people I know can only notice my Asperger's when I'm feeling down. If I'm feeling alright, then they think I'm almost as normal as the next guy.
I've had some traumatic experiences that had to do with my Asperger's. It's played a major part in my life, so I feel like I have to share it at some point.
However, I don't want to tell it too early. There's a lot of misinformation about it on the internet, and I don't want her to get a wrong image about me. I'm afraid she'll stop seeing me as the boy she likes and start seeing me as 'some weirdo with Asperger's'
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11 years ago
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You should tell them when you feel they're tagging on to the idea something's a bit different, but not too late because they may have fallen in love with someone they thought you were.
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11 years ago
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Umm, how does telling this change me as a person? If she loves me, she loves me.
If she'd stop loving me after I tell her, then she doesn't see the man behind the label.
I just feel uncomfortable talking about the traumatizing stuff that happened to me (that's related to my Asperger's).
It's all very personal, and I wouldn't tell it to just anyone. So... I need to have quite a bond with that person first.
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chickennuggets
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I don't really blame you for not wanting to tell anyone about you having Asperger's. Hell... My own family didn't even tell me that I had it. It wasn't until after I graduated high school that my mom told me that I had Asperger's. She didn't get any tests or anything done while I was young for it because there are a few others in my family that have it.
So my entire life I never really got any help for it. I grew up feeling outcasted and picked on (a little bit) and never really had any friends. This translated into me having severe anger issues along with depression and suicidal tendencies back in elementary school.
I have a girlfriend now and I told her after just a few weeks because we had been friends for about a year or two prior to dating. She was extremely supportive about it and even tried to help me find ways with coping with it and looking for help in my area.
So what I guess I'm trying to get at is... DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT SO MUCH. You may not believe it, but most people are fine or supportive about it. If they don't know what it is, explain it to them. It's essentially a form of autism where we excel in various subjects and are fairly intelligent or really intelligent but tend to lack social skills and tend to not be able to relate emotionally to others.
Us Aspies learn to cope with and fight against what we lack in in different ways. For me, I learned most of my social skills from people watching and can tell what most people are implying simply from their body language and tone of voice... but I am a little slower and lacking when it comes to actual conversations.
Main point of all of this....
TELL THEM WHEN YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE ENOUGH WITH THEM...
p.s. Sorry for having such a massive comment. And I didn't realize how old this topic was. >.<